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I might come up with something, I dunno.

Glorious Kotland now has a fleg.

Also since we only have three branches of governance, I thought I'd just clarify that Kotland is a Lenient Oligarchy where the rulers are merchant-barons, but they don't oppress the lower classes or tax them in monetary terms.

As long as the citizens of Kotland deposit their excrement in the designated zones, they live pretty much unmolested by the upper classes.

Here's an Undefinable Leader to use as the representative for the Kylfurt Empire.

Height: 10 ft.
Personality: Scheming, solitary, often cackles to himself.
Abilities: Can summon and command hordes of The Undefinable and being an Undefinable himself can change his form into a variety of other forms for various purposes, including tools, vehicles and disguises. Incredibly physically resilient and nigh-impossible to kill.

Ok, so that's you sorted.

Mine's going to be my usual avatar with stink lines and flies.

So we just need one for Erztal, Acuminatia and Hartü-Ghor now.

I was going to create an advertisement sort of thing to let the wider community know what's going on in case anyone else wants to join before the June deadline.

Because of that, I'll give you guys until next Monday to come up with ideas before I just try and find something that matches both the character of your nation and your profile pic.

A rugged guy with a full beard. He wears a dark green, pointy, short-brimmed felt hat with a red & white cord around it. A feather or two are tucked into the hat. The rest of his outfit follows the red and green colour scheme, with some brown and white details. A brown leather apron hangs down from the back of his belt, covering his buttocks. Usually carries a pickaxe with him.

In war he swaps his mining apparel for a simple cuirass, a cabasset, and a halberd.
As the game advances through the ages, his outfit might change to go with the times.

For further ideas, just imagine a cross between these Tyrolese and a gnome:

Well chaps, it looks like the sign-up period is over, so it's just us now unless there are some late comers in the next couple of days.

I suppose that's a good thing in one way, as we all won't immediately have to go to war to secure territory for expansion; but the more people you have scheming and politicking, the more fun and dramatic things can be, so it'd be good if one or two more people wandered along.

The eastern continent be like

I just checked the map and I hope whoever is on the top-left of that continent goes easy on Kaijin on the bottom left.

He's literally between a desert and a lake. If the map is not semi-3d where if you go off an edge on one side, you immediately appear on the other, then he has trapped himself quite badly.

I may be living on a literal pile of faecal matter, but at least I can leave it to adventure across the world.

Kaijin has to cross the largest desert on the map, just to reach the main sea.

Kaijin got a great defensive position and arguably the strongest starting nation, judging by his number of villages, forts, and his Great Wall of China Kylfurt.

I assume that what we see is only part of a larger world map, which will be uncovered as exploration goes on. Chances are there's more to the east of Kylfurt than what we currently see.

I have no idea what's going on, I just thought it would be cool to make a faction.

I didn't miss anything did I?

No, we're just discussing your starting position, since you start on a continent with two other players, whilst I have an Island and Nigel has an entire continent to himself.

Because it's not clear how the map is going to work yet, I was just wondering if you've accidently trapped yourself, since you're surrounded by desert and either the sea or a large lake.

Your only path of expansion is going to bring you into early conflict with whoever is up top, if you plan on going along the militaristic/expansionist route.

This also leaves the both of you open to the third guy as well, since you'll both be distracted and your heartlands are within striking distance if they really made a push for it.

Considering the stuff I usually try to pull, I consider it less "I'm trapped in here with you" and more "You are all trapped in here with me" along with a slight hint of "If God had wanted you live past [Insert current age here] he would not have created me!"

Remember, I have an army of metallic shapeshifters…

Although seriously, can someone get Olors64 to tell us if the map loops around or not? It would make things much less confusing.

Kaijin, I think you may have mis-read the rules.

We're all starting in the Middle Ages, and then progressing to the more advanced technological levels as the game progresses; like in a Civ Game.

Unless you can work out a way for your dudes to safely wear molten metal as armour; you're going to be a long, long way off from your metal men.

The only reason I have my second island is because my entire civilisation spent an entire century dumping not just their crap, but everyone else's crap into a very specific, shallow spot in the sea.

I'll also message Olors and ask him to explain to us how the map is going to work, as that's going to be really important for our long-term strategies.

And although I approve of your optimism, we're all going to be to turned glass as soon as we hit the Atomic age.

There is always a Gandhi in this sort of game.

Always.

The map will continue for quite a distance west-east before looping. We start off in the southern, hot part of the map, which is why there were two deserts and no tundras, so you can also continue north quite a ways before hitting the ice, but there isn’t much southward.

(Immediately sets up plans for discovering and setting up a monument on the arctic wastes, so that when they all flash melt from the nuclear blasts a Neon Surfer will cruise past all other civilisations as the harbinger of the apocalypse)

> We start off in the southern, hot part of the map

(Erztal's alpine landscape suddenly changes into lush tropics, and the resting miners who previously swung their beer mugs at the tavern now sip daiquiris)

- Official Name: Happy Land
- Government Type: Teocratic Democracy
- Flag (optional)
- History: A land created by the emperor Dre Happy to be the happiest place on earth, it worships the smiling sun the smiling sun demands happyness and this is enforced by law. Though after the mysterious murder of the entire Happy Family line Happy land had to change from a teocratic monarchy to this strange weird rather chaotic idea known as democracy. Seems to be working out well except for an anti-happy party has surfaced this makes most current memebers in the happy land goverment quite worried.
- Main Cities Happy Place, Smile Land, Gloom city.

Is happiness mandatory in Happy Land?

Also, where would you like your nation to be?:

The Southern Cagematch or the Untamed North.

It is yes but how much happyness is required varies from sector to sector in happyland

I think the untamed north,

Which tile(s)?

Sorry Im late to answer, this tiles:

my tiles

As mentioned earlier, two nations (Hartü-Ghor and Acuminatia) have red for their territory. They should be different to avoid confusion between each other. Also, I still need a color for Happy Land.

Map so far:

I will be adding non-player nations soon.

Just like the mighty Atlas, I have come to hold up this thread whilst the world finishes rendering.

@Olors: Do you have a rough idea of when the game will start properly?

I too am looking forward to this game's start.

I am currently working on the npc nations.
I will also figure out how to make the lore consistent with all of your nation bios, which is easier said than done.

@Omega Missingno: If you're going to add more to Hartü-Ghor, now would be a good time.

>Trying to make Tropical Germans, Mad Terraforming Shitlords, Mongolian Vikings riding water dragons, Loan Sharks: The Nation, Optimistic Tech Worshippers and Medieval Alpha Complex consistent with each other.

You poor, poor soul.

Would you like any help with this?

Please do. It will help get this done faster.
You can either send me messages here on kym or join my discord.

Small question: Is the the Kylfurt Empire the Optimistic Tech Worshipers or the Medieval Alpha Complex?

After sifting through Terabytes of irrelevant scientific articles just to remember that Paranoia Tabletop Game you mentioned a while back and looking that up to figure out what an Alpha Complex is, both descriptions fit rather accurately.

And as a broader question, are we allowed to create "Hero units" of sorts? I've got a few ideas for character designs that would be perfect as elite warriors and commanders of the Kylfurt Army.

I'd guess Kylfurt are the technophiles, the Alpha Complex being Happyland, where happiness is mandatory.

Previous NatRP games featured some few characters which acted as influential dignitaries of each player nation, e.g. rulers, generals, wealthy merchants etc., though its up olors if he wants individual characters for his game or not.

This game won’t have playable individuals. In other games they were enjoyable to figure out who does what actions, but hosting a game with them might be too much for me, gameplay-wise. You can still role play as your nation’s leaders, but bear in mind the timescale this game is suited for means your characters will age and die, meaning you or I would have to come up with new ones.

Eh, I get it. It would be weird trying to figure out how battles would work if you had to also factor in characters with their own strengths, weaknesses, personality traits and whatnot. I'll keep it to the RP part.

…But…

{color:green} >"Your characters will age and die"

The not-yet-fat shitposter laughed.

"You are wrong."

I said earlier that this game is semi-realistic, and without getting into too much detail (or spoilers), I’ll talk about how religion works in this game.

For official or otherwise major religions, there is a random chance that it will experience a reformation/schism. Out of the tenets that are added/replaced, you can add, or if there are too many, change a few if it’s the majority or official religion of your nation.

Of course, you can also opt to leave the religion unaltered. Sticking with a religion for a very long time may even start affecting things in world changing ways. Whether it helps, or hinders, it’s adherents or anyone else.. it depends on the religion.

>Small question: Is the the Kylfurt Empire the Optimistic Tech Worshipers or the Medieval Alpha Complex?

Oh, the Kylfurt Empire are the Optimistic Tech Worshippers, and as Nigel said, Happy Land is Medieval Alpha Complex because happiness is mandatory apart from the southern part, where misery is mandatory.

>"Your characters will age and die"

>The not-yet-fat shitposter laughed.

>"You are wrong."

I really hope you manage to get your robots before The Gandhi murders us all.

I'll be really sad if you get wiped out before the Digital age.

I made a flag for the Kylfurt Empire.

Considering the symbolism I went for with this, I hope it's semi-obvious as to how I got confused as to if "Medieval Alpha Complex" was referring to the Kylfurt Empire because both are inspired by Cold-War-Era Red-Scare USA to a noticeable degree, main difference being that from a surface view, Alpha Complex is a dystopia that's become a living antithesis to the entire point of American Anti-Communism in the first place and the Kylfurt Empire is, to greatly oversimplify it, basically a bunch "Born-To-Kill"-Vietnam War LARPers running in circles summoning Robo-Demons from Outer Space to projectile-vomit assorted Implements of Destruction at people they're currently at war with and maybe shamelessly rip off some action movies with the Robo-Demons from Outer Space acting like complete edgelords 90% of the time and a good number of the named ones being some degree of Waifubait for guys that always play the villain story in a game first and treat it as canon regardless of if the ending's the dumbest thing on Earth and contradicts each and every sequel ever made.

Rumour has it that OP is still working on fleshing out the NPC nations that will inhabit this world.

By the Circle, that is going to be one hell of a job if that's the case.

I can honestly say that I would not put as half as much work into the factions around the starting location as OP has, because when you have all of your actual players starting so close together roleplaying as expansionists, warriors and madmen, you can't really expect them to last more than ten turns tops.

Even if we don't intend to, I can guarantee that our actions will inadvertently lead to their embarrassing and confusing demise.

"Oh boy I spent a couple months making all these NPC factions, I hope they like-"

15 Undefinables from the Kylfurt Empire show up and proceed to launch a massive amount of blades into the air that kill an entire column of NPC faction soldiers while the NPC faction's arrows, lances and swords harmlessly bounce off of the Undefinable's metal exterior.

The NPC faction retreats to a massive walled city, their King is sitting safe and sound in the top floor of his castle…

…until a Wyvern flies over the entire city, transforms, revealing itself to be an Undefinable, perches atop a tower outside the King's room, shoots a double-sided Battleaxe Head out of it's shoulder like a boomerang that proceeds to follow a curved path around the King's room until after twirling through the air for a couple moments, it strikes the King right in the face, taking a huge chunk of his head off. The Wyvern Undefinable then shoots a couple blades at some retaliating guards before back-flipping off of the tower, shapeshifting back into a Wyvern and flying back over the horizon.

A roughly 60-foot-tall Undefinable then marches toward the city's massive walled gate, reaches towards an attacking ballista on top of the wall, crushes it and a few of it's operators with in it's hand and then proceeds to turn its arms into massive spiked war hammers and begins pounding the gate apart while 7-9-foot-tall Undefinables begin amassing at it's feet. The instant the gate crumbles, they all swarm in and begin outright slaughtering the NPC faction army inside.

Roughly an hour later the NPC army's general watches as the last of forces are instantly slaughtered by the Undefinables, leaving him as the last man alive in the city when a silver, gaunt and four-legged dragon swoops down from the sky above, reveals itself to be an Undefinable leader and proceeds to transform parts of her armor in a golden, chainsaw-like sword that leaks and spurts glowing hot molten metal from it's seams and challenges him to a duel. As soon as the duel begins the NPC General attempts to swing at the Undefinable Leader with his poleaxe, but the poleaxe's head is instantly obliterated by the Undefinable Leader's parrying strike and she follows up by leaping into the air, planting her clawed foot into the NPC General's thigh and slicing straight though his torso like hot butter before finishing by impaling his now-separated upper-torso on the sword. The Undefinable Leader then announces that all of the enemies in the area are dead and that it's time to move onto the next enemy and they all then shapeshift into armored horses, wheeled siege engines, or various flying creatures and mobilize towards the next nation the Kylfurt Empire is at war with.

The regular Kylfurt Empire Army shows up and starts renovating the city into a fortress so that they can claim that the area is their territory now.

"…Oh."

"Guys, this really wasn't what I had in mi-"

"Du may zink zat vas impressive, but vatch zis".

The Kortland Masterplan finally comes to fruition and this monstrosity bursts through the floor of the city.

"Have fun zinking about how to destroy our Shit Golem".

Hordes of cackling Kortlanders begin pouring wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of random dirt and debris from around the city onto their ships which then beat a hasty retreat in the direction of Probably Not As Old As New New Kotland, But Definitely Older Than Old New Kotland.

"This really isn't what I had in mind at all."

"Guys, please, can we-"

An armored black Pegasus flies overhead with a large Undefinable riding it who had wheels and pulleys attached to him and had his right eye consisting of a cluster of small, glowing lenses surrounding a single, large scope. The Pegasus dropped the Undefinable a couple miles in front of the Shit Golem and circled around to the Golem's back where it then changed into a small Undefinable.

"Time to suffer!" Said the large Undefinable as he shifted and contorted into a wheeled cannon. He fired on the Shit Golem, igniting it with flame. The small Undefinable then ascended high above the Golem, turned both of her arms into small cannons and fired a two-round burst of fireballs into the Shit Golem, igniting it further. Having reached criticality, the Golem exploded and set fire to the shit-tunnels the Kotlanders' had dug underneath the city. The small Undefinable transformed back into a Pegasus and snatched up the large Undefinable and they both then disappeared in flash of light.

Meanwhile, the Kotlander ships spotted two trios of Wyverns, a large golden bird and an armored black Pegasus, which was soon joined by another armored black Pegasus that emerged from a flash of light, both pegasi had larger Undefinables mounted on them. The Wyverns reshaped themselves into more humanoid forms and slammed feet-first onto the decks of the ships where they began their slaughter as did the golden bird who resembled an older, scarred woman, the black and purple Wyvern Undefinable that killed the NPC Faction's King landed on the bridge of one of the ships accompanied by a white-scaled, blue-armored Wyvern Undefinable that was smaller than her and seeing the crew of Kotlanders, converted her hands to buzzsaws and opened the armor panels on her chest to launch out a small, segmented cube that upon contact with the ground, revealed itself to be a sword-wielding Undefinable. The three then engaged the retaliating crew members and in the process, one of the crew hid in a crawlspace too small for the 7'6" black and purple Undefinable to fit into so she opened several panels on her ribs and shoulders and unleashed a swarm of small, metallic insects into the crawlspace that proceeded to burrow themselves into the unfortunate crew member's skin and eat him alive inside-out.

One of the Pegasi began circling one of the ships and it's rider began reshaping her torso into the shape of a large crossbow-like contraption and fired violet bolts of some sort of energy at the crew. Each bolt hit it's target, ending them either after they fell to their knees or instantly, with the crew on the upper deck dead, the two Undefinables landed and began to raid the lower decks of the ship. Meanwhile, the other Pegasus Undefinable once again dropped the large Undefinable onto the bow of one of the ships, rocking it forward, turned to his cannon form and blasted the bridge of the ship, obliterating it. He then aimed into the air and fired a round that split into hundreds of darts and rained down on the remaining crew, impaling them, with no threats left in his vicinity, he turned to one of the other ships and began shooting holes into it, rupturing the hull beneath the waterline.

Eventually, only the Admiral in charge of the fleet was left, upon which he found himself surrounded and cornered on his ship's bridge. He attempted to retaliate against one of the Undefinable, but he suddenly caught a glimpse of a lithe, macabre Undefinable that rearranged several plates on her breastplate which proceeded to glow and project a bright, glowing orange light that took the form of a Tiger pounced the Admiral, causing him to drop his sword, which the Tiger picked up and shattered in it's jaws before fading to nothing. A flash of light nearly blinded him and a slightly above-average height woman with a scar going over her right eye and her other one covered by her blood red hair, worn in a shaggy, unkempt, chin-length style except for the very back which was kept in a long, floor-length ponytail. She smirked before approaching the Admiral and stopping directly in front of his face, suddenly, her skin and armor started to split and contort as her form became taller, gaining a foot-and-a-half for a total height of 7ft, revealing her to be the Undefinable Leader that conquered the NPC faction. She began glowing brightly and suddenly split into two of herself, the clone of her then walked behind the Admiral and forced his arms behind his back and lifted him into the air by his wrists. The original grabbed his legs and began pulling him down, causing a great pain in his shoulders.

"Talk, dreg! Or I'll show you an agony that will break every fiber of your self!" The Undefinable Leader shouted into his face in an archaic accent, the pain in his shoulders deepening.

"I-I'll never…" The Admiral groaned out in between gasps for air, the Undefinable Leader smirked maliciously and looking the Admiral dead in the eyes with a stare of disturbed bloodlust, ordered one of her subordinates:

"Carmilla! Teach him about suffering!" She said as the black and purple Wyvern Undefinable marched forward, opened a panel on her shoulder from which a single metallic insect emerged, let it crawl onto the palm of her hand, gently stroked it's carapace with her finger, held it to her mouth and whispered:

"Time to play…" She then blew it towards the Admiral's face, which upon landing on it, burrowed into his skin. The Admiral began screaming and shrieking while muttering inane, incomprehensible phrases, before making a horrified face and letting out short wails and meeps. His eye began twitching and then the insect burst out of it and flew back to it's keeper leaving him whimpering and sobbing onto the floor as his shoulders slowly bent further and further back.

The insect crawled back into the panel from whence it came, upon which Carmilla let out a small chortle, then she spoke:

"These cretins are from a land Northwest of here called "Kotland," their home, culture and economy revolves entirely around excrement! In fact, their island is made of manure. Their society is managed by the wealthy and noble, with those who live lavishly making the decisions and buying all of their solutions." She explained.

"So they'll have servants?" An Undefinable with garish colors said with a glow of excitement in her face.

"Additionally, their army is relatively weak in numbers and it's not as if we've ever had any trouble with such things anyways…" Carmilla continued.

The Undefinable Leader laughed and cackled where she stood. "Set out for this new land! We shall show them what happens to anyone who dares to as much as inconvenience our patrons, let alone us!" She shouted as several of the fliers began to switch back to their flying forms and take off, she then turned to the catatonic Admiral, and grinned malevolently. "…And you… you will get to a trip to my birthplace…" She muttered towards him as her clone lifted him higher into the air and shook him sharply, dislocating both of his shoulders, the original then morphed her arm into a large blade, which she launch into his chest and the clone threw him overboard. The Undefinable Leader then extended a large, but short-barreled cannon from her chest, fired a bolt of unstable violet energy into the ship and her, reabsorbed her clone, changed to her dragon form and set off towards the site of her next massacre with a sudden and deafening shock, leaving nothing but the sink and burning wreckage of the Kotlander's ships.

"…O-Oh, God, this thread was a mistake, Oh shit, oh fuck…"

"Guys, I think we've gone too far off tr-"

When the Undefinables were out of sight, a sick, wet laughter rose up from the ruins of the city and the surrounding bay.

"Shit tunnels? How do zey not know vat a sewer ist?"

Back in Kotland, the council of elders are calmly watching the events unfold through a thousand eyes whilst sitting comfortably in modest surroundings.

Suddenly, one of the servants standing by made a nervous cough and spoke up.

"Are you not frightened, my meritocratically-elected lords?

The assembled Cacomancers chuckled gently.

"As you can see, citizen, they do not understand."

"We are born of the waste, made men by the waste, undone by the waste."

Unknown to the Undefinables who had struck the Kotlanders in the battle, a thousand tiny eyes crawled all over them, seeping into cracks and merging with various audio and visual equipment.

Ancient and terrible words were chanted, distinctions between the lesser races began to blur and old fealties and pacts soon began to waver and fade.

The Undefinable armada slowly but surely began to change its course to a harsh desert land to the south.

The Kylfurt Empire saw the return of the Undefinable Armada and began to make preparations for a huge celebratory festival upon their return for yet another glorious victory.

But they were there's no longer.

"Fear the old turds, Kylfurt, by the Gods fear it

"Soup, this is Bullshit!

"You can't possess my perfect, invincible killing machines and turn them against me using homunculi made of shit!

"Hey, hey, hey. Did I, or did I not, roll three Natural 20's in a row just now?"

(Sissy Slap Fight Ensues)

"Guys please…I just wanted to create a civilisation game"

And then, from over the horizon, the Pony Loan Sharks came to collect their debt…with interest

(OP proceeds to drown his sorrows in Choccy milk and mediocre Rom-Coms)

Kylfurt and Kotland: Titans made of malleable metal and fecal matter having a kaiju battle in the ruins of an annihilated NPC nation

Erztal: "Haha pickaxe goes ching ching hammer and anvil go clang clang"

"No, stop… WAIT, YOU'RE DERAILIN-"

A lone, armored warhorse trotted down a street in Beeg Yin until it came to a foundry. There it nonchalantly waltzed in and pranced about the premises straight towards a large furnace, which it immediately kicked hard enough to crack open, causing molten iron to leak onto the foundry floor. The workers rushed in to try and fix the problem, but found the door had been locked behind them, trapping them in a room soon to be filled with molten metal. Having caused death and destruction, the warhorse galloped merrily out of the foundry and towards a large mansion, where it leaped through one of the windows and began knocking over furniture until the servants in the mansion ran to stop the rampaging horse. Once a crowd of butlers, maids, cooks and even a few the mansion's owners had formed around the warhorse, it began to neigh shortly and sharply and it's neighs quickly turned to maniacal laughter as it's form twisted and reshaped, revealing it to be a garishly-colored Undefinable who immediately extended two spiraling bladed projectiles that she began rotating in her hands and juggling back and forth while her breastplate opened and launched a small, sword-wielding Undefinable out onto the ground in front of her.

"Let's get started!" The garishly-colored Undefinable announced as she slung one of the bladed projectiles at one of the servants, instantly shearing their arm off, and then slashed the other one through a retaliating guard's abdomen, tearing a deep cut through his chestplate and into his abdomen. The small Undefinable immediately began cutting down guards and anyone that got too close to the garishly-colored one.

As suddenly as the onslaught began, another much more heavily armored warhorse appeared next to the garishly-colored Undefinable with a thickly and extensively armored Undefinable holding a shield mounted upon it's back. The armored Undefinable dismounted and withdrew a massive battleaxe that crackled with lightning while the second warhorse changed to a humanoid form and procured a pair of jagged, zig-zagging blades that had electricity slithering and darting around them.

"I'll crush you!" The armored Undefinable shouted as she immediately smashed a guard into the wall with her shield and disintegrated another with a bolt from her axe. The second warhorse Undefinable had also begun firing streaks of lighting at the inhabitants of the mansion, setting fire to the curtains and carpet. The garishly-colored Undefinable was leaping and prancing down the halls as she decapitated, impaled and eviscerated everyone she came across with childish glee and giggling, she had become an unstoppable juggernaut of agony and death as the inhabitants of the mansion sprinted and tumbled down it's halls in a desperate and futile attempt to escape the tall, metallic warrior who merrily cheered of war and bloodshed as if it were child's play.

The sight of the mansion burning attracted the attention of the entire city, but when first responders tried to investigate, a trio of Wyverns intercepted them and made short work of them. The entire city of Beeg Yin was being attacked by the Undefinables with the metallic devils obliterating any Kotlanders they caught sight of and buildings being crumbled left and right. A heavily armored Undefinable stood atop a cliffside overlooking the burning city while his warhorse switched to her Undefinable form and stood watch while the armored one kept track of the battle and it's progress.

"Send in the traitors!" Ordered the Undefinable on the cliff and as he did, several Undefinables either disfigured or bound in some way entered the fray. One was a large and lumbering at a little over seven and a half feet tall club-wielding warrior who's jaw dangled broken from his head while the rest of him was covered in various dirty rags, a few had been transmuted into more bestial, savage, brutish forms that merely slammed their fists about while screaming in a mixture of rage and agony as their jagged, barbed masks seemed to cut into their faces, one of them was merely a head that had been ripped from it's original body and jury-rigged onto a small wheeled box containing the bare necessities and had a buzzsaw for one arm and a large crossbow-like weapon for the other, it stood barely three feet tall as it rolled and clattered about, firing bolts of energy at Kotlanders that towered over it. A rumbling emanated from the city center and a massive mechanical torso bearing a mask resembling what appeared to be an agonized old man tore itself from the ground and towered of the buildings around it. The massive golem of sorts smashed and crushed all of the Kotlanders in it's vicinity before morphing into a gigantic artillery gun and started firing on the Kotland government buildings with round that collapsed buildings like sandcastles.

(1/2, I can't believe I hit the character limit.)

The large, golden bird swooped over the warzone with elegance and haste, eventually coming to the Council Building, where she quietly slipped through a window that had been broken from the buildings around it being blasted to rubble. She changed to her Undefinable form and gracefully snuck through the halls, until she got to the Council of the Elders, where she perched out of view while the Council bickered back and forth about how to respond to the crisis at hand. Out of sight, The Undefinable Leader warped in along with the black and purple Wyvern Undefinable, Carmilla, the lithe and macabre Undefinable summoner and the Leader's personal servants; a slightly taller Undefinable carrying a staff in one hand and equipped with daggers in his other and two smaller Undefinables, one equipped with a variety of axe-like weapons and the other wielding more jagged blades, both emanated an icy fog from their joints.

The group immediately sprung into action with the staff wielding Undefinable emitting a violet glow that encased the whole Council chamber in an impenetrable barrier, trapping the Cacomancers inside with them. They all scrambled in terror in an attempt to escape until one of them touched the barrier, electrocuting and charring him, they all froze where they were and slowly turned to the metallic figures that loomed behind them. The Undefinable Leader straightened her shoulders and spoke.

"I am Blütgrindor, leader of the Undefinable Revelation, the ravager of countless worlds, the manifestation of hatred and the agonized draugr flung through time and space eternally to take from all what was once taken from her. I am bound to serve and protect the Kylfurt Empire which you attacked, as such I shall send you all to a grave most morbid." She said as she slowly stepped into the center of the room. "But…" She continued. "…Seeing that you style yourselves as chosen for your merits, I shall offer your people a slim chance at survival as per my people's tradition. The strongest of you shall draw your weapon and challenge me in a duel to the death: to refuse would be to acquiesce to total annihilation." She once again pulled the golden chainsaw-like blade that spewed and leaked molten metal from her armor and pointed it at the huddled mass of Plutocrats. "Draw."

A frail and aging Cacomancer walked forward carrying a sword clearly intended for ceremonial use and accepted the conquerer's offer. They began the duel and immediately the Cacomancer's blade shattered against Blütgrindor's corrupted blade, tempered with many millennia of inflicting anguish. The metallic lord lowered her blade for a moment and bent down into the Cacomancer's face with a look of disappointment.

"I'm going to be honest…" She said in a depressed tone. "…I haven't had an interesting fight for many thousands of years, they always end like this and it gets quite bland, but at least I still have the pleasure of-" She stopped and looked down to see that the Cacomancer had attempted to stab her gut with the jagged remnant of his sword, only for it to flatten and crumble even more against her metallic body. She smiled at the futile attempt, the desperation satisfied her immensely, and she spoke once again to the Cacomancer with a youthful smile on her face and a glow in her eyes. "I've never seen that before, you've surprised me. They usually beg for mercy or try to plead for their lives, but you're the first to attempt something so simple yet underhanded. You truly will stop at nothing for your home won't you? I respect that, I remember when I was like that, Shirley, I miss those days, but…" She bent the metal bones of her skeletal hand into an unusual and entirely inhuman claw and burrowed it deep into the Cacomancer's chest "You have lost!" She announced as she ripped his heart out and crushed it in her claw. "Do as you will with them, just don't let them live!" She ordered as she turned and sat on a podium that crumpled underneath her metallic form's immense weight and observed the massacre unfold.

Carmilla unleashed a swarm of metallic insects into the room that began devouring the Council Members down to the bone. The lithe and macabre Undefinable unleashed a massive bird made of bright violet light from her chest that immediately leaped onto the face of a Council Member and began clawing it apart while she summoned even more beasts to disembowel the remaining Council Members. The golden bird Undefinable withdrew a large naginata and began skewering Council Members while lamenting about the complexities and strange beauty of death. The two smaller Undefinable servants began striking down Council Members and spewing their freezing mist at them, petrifying them until they were so brittle they crumbled and shattered from their own movements. The taller Undefinable servant stood next to his leader watching the slaughter when one of the Council Members tried to wrestle him staff from him, upon touching it a bit of it's energy leaped into their body and they fell to they ground convulsing and contorting until their body violently exploded and splattered the two Undefinables with blood and liquefied innards.

"Utmost apologies Lady Blütgrindor, shall I clean this mess off of you?" He inquired of his leader.

"That will not be necessary, Jaquobeain, this filth only serves to terrify our prey further!" She responded.

With the last Kotlander Council Member dead the Undefinable Revelation had exited the Council Building and walked past the smoldering ruins of it's surroundings and took flight off over the horizon. Back at the smoldering ruins of the mansion and the surrounding neighborhood, the garishly-colored Undefinable lamented on how it was a shame that there were no more servants or enemies to kill and proceeded to fold the small sword-wielding Undefinable she had ejected earlier back into her chest in preparation to leave. The massive golem Undefinable fired one last shot that obliterated the Council Building before returning back to the ground without a trace, save for the total destruction of the city of Beeg Yin. The Undefinable on the cliff finally broke his gaze from the city and turned to the warhorse Undefinable that accompanied him as she resumed her equine form, the two then left. The other Undefinables all simultaneously turned and set off towards the East for the time being, everything in Beeg Yin had been destroyed and everyone of the city's inhabitants had been killed. They left nothing but a smoldering ruin in their wake.

(OP slumps forward and begins sobbing into his hands, he wanted a Forum strategy game, not to watch a pair of internet weirdos write a story about shapeshifting robo-waifus committing a genocide.)

>(1/2, I can't believe I hit the character limit.)

That's generally impressive, I didn't think forum posts had a character limit.
________________________________________________________________

"Hey OP, since we're currently in the magical future age and the second island's existed for millennia now, do I need to roll for this?"

(OP looks up, eyes red from the tears and nods that I don't have to.)

As the Undefinables leave the city boundaries, a strange affliction starts to come over them.

It starts off as just a twitch, surely a minor issue caused by todays excitement, truly nothing to be concerned about.

Then they started to hear a ringing noise.

Odd, perhaps it's due to the islands….unique construction.

Soon the twitches became shakes, making movement difficult for some and impossible for others.

Is this some disease? But how can a machine catch a disease?

Now the ringing is getting louder.

No wait! It's not ringing, it's voices!

What are they saying!?

What are they saying!?

Circulus Ambit Nobis
Unum et Totum
Terra mater, Pater Profectum
Audi Nostra Placita

Stumbling, choking, flailing, the Undefinables all began to crash onto the ground and convulse in anguish from the turmoil taking place inside them.

Not even the mighty Blütgrindor was spared from this affliction, she was just as stricken as any of her brethren.

Grasping onto the ruins of a blacksmith for support, desperately trying to hold onto her rapidly deteriorating mind, she suddenly heard the clank of heavy metal feet cleanly cutting through the cacophony of despair around her.

"Hidey Ho, Neighbourino!"

Blütgrindor spun herself around and collapsed with her back against the wall, facing this strangely unafflicted person.

Standing before her was a form very much like her own. It was a machine fashioned in the shape of a man, but unlike their stylised forms, this one was much more rigid, more utilitarian and, perhaps, all the more human because of it.

"You! You are not supposed to be here!"

"But I am not here, Blütgrindor."

The blank face of the machine tilted slightly to the side and back again like a perplexed bird

"Well, I AM here, but I am also NOT here."

"You know how odd these situations are."

A piece of masonry breaks off the wall and bounces off his head, sending it clattering off down the street.

"Please ignore that."

The machine sat itself down beside Blütgrindor and seemed to continually faze in and out of reality, matching her own slowly failing mind.

"So have you come to mock me? To preach your heretical prattle one last time? To, pfft, save me?"

"Oh…no. We all must move on. Even me, but only after our old friend stops being so stubborn and gives up first."

Blütgrindor let out a dry chuckle, before fighting back another convulsive fit that wracked her body.

"So never, then?"

"So it seems."

"Then why are you here?"

"I thought you might like to see a friendly face."

They sat in silence a little while longer, with the sounds and colours of the world slowly draining from her sight.

"Do you remember what I used to say when I had to transfer my mind from one body to another when it was too damaged to repair?"

"…yes. It was a poem…I think."

"How did it go?"

Blütgrindor lifted her head skywards, her rapidly opening and closing eyes no longer able to focus on anything in particular. She sat like this in silence for a few moments, trying to dig up memories of a time long forgot.

Finally, in a strained, hollow voice, she spoke:

All around me darkness gathers,
Fading is the sun that shone,
We must speak of other matters,
You can be me when I'm gone

Flowers gathered in the morning,
Afternoon they blossom on,
Still are withered in the evening,
You can be me when I'm gone.

After reciting the ancient verse Blütgrindor's eyes closed one last time and she fell silent.

All about the ruins of Beeg Yin, the rest of the Undefinables had either already passed, or were in the process of shortly doing so.

All that could be heard in the ruins of the city was the roar of flames and the howl of the winds they birthed in their fury.

After a while, small orbs of light in thousands of different shades and colours began to float out of the bodies of the Undefinables which faded, fizzled or flew away into the bright, blue summer sky.

The orb that floated out of Blütgrindor's body was a ball of fiery light with a twisting, black smoke in its centre.

Cupping it gently in his hand, the machine opened a compartment on his body and carefully placed it inside.

"You were a good kid, Blütgrindor. It's such a shame it had to end like this."

The machine stood up and let out a loud, staticky sigh.

"Well…time to go home."

The machine disappeared, and the ruined city returned to being as silent and as still as a grave.

…

But not for long.

A demented laughter welled up from inside the city as the Kotlanders awoke and started to experiment with what their new bodies could do.

The body of what used to be Blütgrindor opened its eyes.

"Fear the old turds, Kylfurt, by the Gods fear it"

"Yeah, get out-edged son."

Booyah!

(Soup proceeds to unleash a storm of sassy finger snaps upon Kaijin's stunned form)

(Kaijin recover's from this retort and stands up tall, his face purple with rage.)

"Hey, you can't do this. This is cheating.

"Clearly this is the result of Metagaming and OP being biased"

(Soup also stands up and meets him eye-to-eye)

"Well if you didn't want to lose, you wouldn't have picked the villains and ignored all of the blatant death flags"

(The sissy slap fight from before erupts again in full force.)

"Guys, please go home. All the other players left hours ago."

"I want to go to bed. I've got work in the morning."

(Suddenly the door to the living room kicks open and a familiar face sticks it's head around the corner.)

"Morning OP, is it Erztal's turn yet?"

(The OP goes back to bawling his eyes out, forgetting the exact point when the crying began, as it has been going on for so long now.)

(OP can't stop crying!)

A booming voice echoed throughout the world and [SPOILER] appeared and began laughing at the feeble metal man's attempts and stopping him.

"Do… Do you think anything you do will make a difference? H-Here…anywhere… anytime?" He laughed.

"I took their broken and betrayed bodies and molded their corpse shells into the demons of destruction they are now! They have slayed gods as if they were mere insects, nothing you do will stop them! Shirley… will… prevail!" He announced.

[SPOILER] shot a beam of light towards the shitbot, immobilizing him and lifting him off of the ground.

"In fact… why don't I show you a sample of how I can… improve someone… Soup King…"

A sudden feeling of being crushed and reshaped came over the shitbot and he began glowing an ominous violet as his mind was melted, erased and warped into something unrecognizable.

"Behold… Nut Commoner!" [SPOILER] announced as the remnants of the shitbot finished reshaping into the shape of a massive mechanical warrior clad in jagged, spiked greyish-blue and red armor with his visual sensors glowing a malicious violet. A massive cannon was attached to his right arm and the other bore a massive, electrified claw.

The corpse of a Kotlander Tomboy was lifted into the air and similarly was reformed.

"…And to aid you on your mission, I present… Mas! The huntress! …and her Simps!" [SPOILER] announced as the massive winged mechanical amazon swooped through the air as an army of small, mechanical minions swarmed behind her.

The cadaver of a Kotlander soldier and some siege engine parts were dragged upwards by a beam of light and morphed together.

"…Eimaj, the Berserker! …and his legions!" He continued as a hulking metallic brute covered in blades soared across the sky with a seemingly infinite number of flying machines trailed behind him.

"…And this…" [SPOILER] said as a large object began materializing above the trio of newly made angels of death. "…Will be your vessel!" The object took the shape of a massive spaceship composed of many columns connecting a group of tetrahedrons to an octet of massive engines.

"Now go… and destroy the Cult of the Circle…" [SPOILER] finished.

Nut Commoner raised his fists into the air and ascended to the deck of the ship as his two subordinates and their minions entered its hangar.

"I will rip apart Soup King and every other shitbot until the Cult of the Circle is destroyed!" Nut Commoner proclaimed with a sadistic smirk on his face as he set off in the ship that glowed and disappeared to another time and place.

Blütgrindor had witnessed the entire occurrence and smirked at the futility of her enemies' plights. Even if they could surpass her through some sort of cosmic nonsense, her benefactors would turn everything into their plaything and if they found no use for it, would send it to oblivion. Truly, Shirley's divinity was the most powerful deity in existence!

"That stunt will cost you, Kotlander!" She said as she mobilized the Undefinable Revelation to raze all of Kotland to the ground.

"For slaughter! For agony! Show them suffering!" She chanted before morphing into her dragon form and setting of on a new crusade.

(OP can't stop crying)

(Also, if someone ever wakes up in the body of a dumptruck-assed redhead with OK boobas and doesn't at least consider using her cloning ability to 69 themselves, they've officially lost the Mandate of Heaven in my eyes.)

(Also, Also, if either of us keeps posting about this, I'm going to be overcome with the irresistible urge to create character sheets for these characters and that would delay the comic even more!)

(P.S. What would happen to be your favorite melee weapon? Not asking for any reason in particular. Mine's the Halberd and Flail, the latter of which I feel has been given a bad rap due to being a European weapon and Medieval European Warfare being focused on troop formations which it is very clearly not suited for.)

(OP has left the house now and has not returned for some while)

"You know, one of these days you'll learn this doesn't work"

[SPOILER] turned around and was greeted by Nut Commoner.

"What are you doing here!? I commanded you to destroy the Cult of the Circle!"

The Machine's eyes unfocused so that [SPOILER] was bathed in purple light and it's voice took on a cheerful, upbeat tune.

"First of all, we can't be meddling in affairs that do not directly affect us, that's just not fair."

"Secondly, your programming skills are absolutely atrocious and the only time it works is because we decide to take pity on you."

"And thirdly…"

Nut Commoner's eyes focused into two burning pin points of light and he leaned in to be eye-to-eye with [SPOILER]

"…you forget that Shirley is part of the Cult's Pantheon of Lesser Gods, meaning that Shirleyists are technically Cult members too."

"Don't worry too much, though. I've only radically redesigned your bathroom and put a few of your girls in hospital with minor, but serious, injuries. Hence, why it's just me here."

[SPOILER] stood by expectantly. [SPOILER] knew that Nut Commoner was going to do something wacky, something light-hearted. The Machine brought nothing but snark and Noble Bright wherever it went.

"I think it's time we left the children to their own devices, don't you?"

Nut Commoner leaned back out of [SPOILER]'s face and unfocused his eyes, bathing everything again in a soft, purple light.

"B-but m-mah Emp-p-pire…"

[SPOILER] began to swell and glow, with purple gas escaping from every gap in their clothing.

"But mah easy victory!"

[SPOILER] rose into the sky, expanding quicker and quicker until they seemed to fill up the entire sky.

"BUT MAH ROBOT LADIES!!!"

Nut Commoner turned up a dial on his head and his own voice grew equally loud.

"IF YOU DON'T GO HOME RIGHT NOW, I'M TELLING ALL OF THE UNDEFINABLES WHAT THEIR OFFICIAL DESIGNATION IS!!!"

There was an uncomfortable pause before [SPOILER] vanished in a loud thunderclap; taking all of the additional forces back with them.

Nut Commoner turned the volume of his voice back down and turned to Blütgrindor.

"You know, sometimes, I wonder which one of us is actually a machine."

"…what?"

"Well, I have a body of metal and a mind of code, so I'm pretty sure that I'm a machine. But they think so rigidly that perhaps they are one too. Also, I'm a better dancer than them, which shouldn't be biologically possible."

"I…I do not understand either of you."

"That's probably for the best, child."

"…"

"Anywho, I'd best be going now, youngling. Play fair now and remember to take a chill pill, life's too short to be a pessimistic, miserable sod all of the time."

"…"

"Toodle-Pip!"

Nut Commoner returned Blütgrindor's soul to her before he disappeared and, once again, the ruined city fell silent. The Undefinables and Kotlanders just stood about, giving each other the occasional embarrassed smile.

Blütgrindor stood staring at the ground, trying to process everything that had happened within the last ten minutes.

"Young?…Child?…Official Designation?"

(OP comes back into the room with a deadpan face.)
___________________________________________________________________________

(You can't lose the Mandate of Heaven if you photocopy it and hide copies around the Imperial Palace. You've got to play smarter, not harder.)

(No! No Character sheets until the comic is done. Get back to your cage! W'tch, W'tch!)

(In regards to Favourite Melee Weapons?)

(For Fantasy weapons, my favourite weapon are arm swords. I just find the designs to be really cool and it looks like dual wielding them would feel pretty natural.)

(As for an actual melee weapon, it's the Quarter Staff. There's just something really satisfying with bonking people with a big, hefty stick.)

(OP has become catatonic!)

Meanwhile, during the destruction of Kotland, a Kotlander champion finds himself face-to-face with Blütgrindor in battle.

"Why? Why throw your life away with this warmongering!" He shouted.

The massive figure merely chuckled at his inquiry and signaled to the lithe, macabre Undefinable to approach them.

"My life was thrown away long ago, young one, you all keep trying to kill us, but you cannot kill that which has already sunk into it's watery grave." She explained as she began to circle around the Champion as if she was felt completely at ease around him. "Let me tell you of a time long before this world even began to exist, of my youth…" She said as the lithe, macabre Undefinable began projecting something around them, the bleak battlefield disappeared and was replaced with the interior of a wooden tower, mountains could be seen from the windows.

"…I was once young and naive, I fought for peace and to protect my home and families…" She said as a young woman with long white hair wearing silver armor appeared with her sword locked against that of a guard's. She knocked the guard's sword from his hand and then kicked him to the ground before restraining him. Several other strangely familiar warriors were also fighting around the room, stopping as soon as their opponents were down and merely tying them without spilling any blood whatsoever.

"…I was the stepchild of two royal families and I loved both of them dearly, so much that I stopped their war against each other to unite them against our true enemy…" She continued as the world around them gave way to the sight of two princes shaking hands while the white-haired woman from before stood by them. "…But, as Fate would have it, I encountered a battle that was simply too much for us…"

The sky turned into a horrendous storm and all around them was a monstrous cliffside above a deep and seemingly infinite canyon, barren and gray, once again the white-haired woman and the other warriors were seen locked in combat, but this time the enemy was a much more fierce and brutal army. "…Had I foreseen the losses I would take there, I would have tried to find another way…"

The opposing army struck at and fought the white-haired woman's army more and more aggressively, eventually the Champion saw one of the princes gravely injured by the opposition, but he managed to dispatch his assailant before stumbling to the ground. A young woman rushed towards him and immediately tried to tend to his wounds but in almost the same instant, a volley of arrows rained onto them, spelling their end. A slim, red-haired woman mounted atop a white Pegasus marked with the same symbol as the prince who had just been slain flew forward and unleashed her fury on the archers responsible. The white-haired woman was beginning to be overrun and seemed appropriately perturbed in addition to her armor being dented and torn open in some places. "Keep fighting, don't give-" *She shouted.

A massive Wyvern swooped down and threw many of the white-haired woman's assailants about, the rider was a woman wearing black-and-purple armor who looked to the white-haired woman and voice a concern for the state of the battle. "For once, I'm upset to disagree with you, Ca-" *The white-haired woman had been caught off-guard and was struck across the face by one of her assailants, she quickly recovered and stabbed the assailant with her golden sword and even more quickly stood back and gawked in horror at what she had just done while holding the gash along her face closed. "R-R-Retreat! Retreat!" *She shouted as she turned to run, the red-haired woman had picked up the body of the woman who had tried to help the fallen prince, but could not get the prince's corpse itself onto her mount in time and was forced to fly off without it.

The white-haired woman herself was struck in the right shoulder by a thrown axe and knocked to the ground while retreating, she looked up and extended her arm to a lithe summoner with a macabre aura around her "D-Don't leave me here…" She weakly groaned while the other scattered with haste past them. The lithe summoner threw her leader over her shoulder and carried her off of the battlefield while a bird familiar she had ushered into being toted the white-haired woman's golden sword behind them.