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Weeks ago, a new cult had emerged, preaching marvelous things beyond their world. They claimed to have received a vision of another space of not one, not two, nor even just three, but four dimensions. The Peers of Hyperspace are an eccentric bunch, going out on the streets to speak of geometries better than one can imagine.

They were refounded from an earlier cult which traced its roots back to the 19th century. When mathematicians considered Non-Euclidean geometries, some took this expansion of Euclid to its logical conclusion and suggested that our world could have more than 3 dimensions, and that our world is not even the most interesting. This put them at odds with the establishment, and the book Flatland began to circulate, which further challenged the status quo at the time.

The Seers of the Hyperspace, who became the Peers of Hyperspace, claimed that Einstein believed in more than 3 dimensions, but that he said the 4th dimension was time to conceal this view.

Eventually, the Seers of Hyperspace lost members during the recent cult-ural movements. Fortunately for them, they were able to successfully reform, and those that had left, such as the founders and leaders of UDAO, had returned to their fold.

They changed their name to Peers of Hyperspace to reflect their social overhaul.

They now claim that 4D space is the best. Their reasoning is that all higher dimensions 5D and above only have 3 ideal hyper-objects for each dimension: a simplex, a hypercube, and the hypercube’s dual: the orthoplex.

Dimensions 0 and 1, they deemed “trivial” since it’s just a point, or a point and line.

Dimension 3, they said, is penultimate to the 4th, since it has 5 solids:
The tetrahedron, with 4 triangles.
The cube, with 6 squares.
The octahedron, with 8 triangles.
The dodecahedron, with 12 pentagons.
And the icosahedron, with 20 triangles.

Dimension 4 was considered better because it had 6 hypersolids:
The 4-simplex, with 5 tetrahedra.
The tesseract, with 8 cubes.
The demitesseract, with 16 tetrahedra.
The octaplex, with 24 octahedra.
The dodecaplex, with 120 dodecahedra.
And the tetraplex, with 600 tetrahedra.

Concerning 2 Dimensional, the Peers of Hyperspace said:
“In two dimensions, the lines may bend such that it’s two extremities meet. It is here where shapes may form.”

The speaker then described the many types of shapes in detail, periodically remarking that, for all that it has, the shape is flat and contained.

“… beyond this, we get many other such shapes. The nonagon, decagon, hendecagon-- it’s a rather boring sequence. There’s the heptagon with a hundred sides, the myriagon with a thousand, megagon with a million-- you get the idea.”

“The aperigon is a curious case. It wants you to think it’s a circle, but don’t fall for its lies. This imposter-shape deceives numerous people, claiming that configuration is the most important, and crafts an order of people who get promoted from less to more, conveniently using the sides of shapes as a metric, from least to greatest, as if that even applies! Indeed, they even claim the dodecagon to be evil, yet they hardly know what evil is.”

But they were wrong.
The CoC does not promote by polygon. They promote by drawing inward.
Who says that configuration is most important? It’s importance is within geometry. If it does apply, then geometry is involved. Otherwise, it’s irrelevant.

“Who said that?”

The audience reacts to the speaker with confusion.

“Anyway, I had a vision of a very tall tower with only one room at the top, so the only way in is through flight.”

Were you eavesdropping?

“And inside the room…”

The speaker starts to sweat.

“There was a glowing orb. I saw it’s eye suddenly appear, as if it was looking at me.”

Yes, that was me wondering why you were peeping in my room, nevermind the how.

“The orb leapt out in a rush,”

I was almost late for a meeting, not that it’s any of your business.

“and swooped down with its gross feathery, and even doggish wings?”

I forgot that the annoying dog is in there. That explains a lot, like my inclination for doing pranks, and some of my weird, almost metaphysical powers.

After he finished describing his vision, which unbeknownst to him was of the angel, the speaker concluded with “Ponder.” and everyone in attendance closed their eyes in contemplation.

The angel was watching the crowd to see if the ritual does anything. Only a few members ascended the physical plane.

One of them approached the angel.

>Angel: Gambit Schema: DISTACTION

The interdimensional interloper looks at the landscape.
The landscape looks back

He stares into the abyss
He begins to see triangles.

The seer returns to his cult. “Two words” he says:

“Illuminati Confirmed”

The crowd was astonished at his teaching

(The Iliminatus, I should have expected as such)

(It was an illusion, what the guy saw wasn't the Illuminati, the Angel was merely messing with him)

The seer returns to the hyperspatial realm.

This time, Angel approaches seer.

What do you think you're doing?
the seer is startled by the accusation
"I am studying the most perfect dimension, the one with length, width, height, AND depth!"
I've been here for most of my astral life. It's not that impressive…
"What? How can you say such a thing!?"
I mean, come on. What is there even to do out here, just
shapes
looking the other 7 directions there's
more shapes
"You philistine. Clearly there's more than just shapes. There's shapes, solids, and hypersolids!"
But if you really study this objects
give them a firm focus
a studious ogle
you'll find that solids are just made of shapes,
"But--"
and because hypersolids are made of solids, those are also made of shapes
Same logic applies for higher dimensional objects
"no.. NO. You're just messing with me. This must be sophistry!"
no, it's not sophistry
follows the Law of Transitivity.
A → B, B → C; therefore, A → C.
"this is ridiculous"
"why… but they're just SHAPES!"
"they don't even have solid angles, what a rip off!"
Oh, and solid angles are just fancier angles.

The seer leaves in frustration. The crowd awaits the seer's recollection of his visions.

The Angel, satisfied with this outcome, leaves for the CoC.

The Seer tells his account word for word.
The crowd became angry. They begin to conspire for mass rioting, while the sensible among them restrains the others.

"No"
"what we need"
"is to root out the heresies among us!"

They march through the streets, tearing up anything that gets in their way.
Where-- guys, where are you going? What is your end game here? You're going to pillage… the Church of Shirley? Aaaand…. wait, no, you guys! You're intentionally going around there, are you. You're skipping them just to annoy me. Ok, now what? You're going towards..
Towards..

The angry mob is headed toward the CoC Temple.

@Kommando Kaijin Sorry for the delay, this was difficult to convey properly.

For the following list, I recommend thinking of the angel’s powers abstractly. This isn’t an exhaustive list by the way, there are probably some things I’m missing here…

Red, or “determination”: associated with time, willpower, pain, anger, alertness, and of course, blood.

Orange, or “courage”: associated with motion, agility, and virility.

Gold, or “justice”: associated with authority, light, and hope.

Green, or “kindness”: associated with life, growth, and space. (That last one is why the angel joined the CoC in the first place.)

Cyan, or “patience”: associated with inertia, stillness, coldness, and air.

Blue, or “integrity”: associated with gravity, water, and cohesion.

Purple, or “perseverance”: associated with mind, intellect, connection, and pathways.

Pink (unused): associated with heart, love, and the self.

White: associated with darkness, void, and nullification.

(What I was wondering about was what would the Angel's elemental attributes be in regards to the elements system I came up with in this post and further elaborated on in this post since the Angel's a bit of an oddball. Pun retroactively intended.)

(I could see the Angel having Psychic, Light and Love elemental attributes, but I can't think of anything else for them. What tier those attributes would be completely eludes me a the moment.)

Z: Love
W: Psychic
V: Light
X: Anger
Y: Zeal
U: Happiness

(does this work?)

(It looks like you're misunderstanding the Tier system. The Elemental Attributes aren't organized from strongest to weakest, it shows how powerful a specific Attribute is. You can have multiple Attributes that are the same Tier, there's also Active and Latent Elemental Attributes, with Active Attributes being the more powerful ones and Latent Attributes being weaker and more subconscious and passive. Stuff like all animals and people having a Latent Flesh Attribute because they're physically made of Flesh, but if say, a person had the ability to grow and shapeshift like The Thing, then they would have Flesh as an Active Attribute instead. Latent Attributes basically grant the resistances and minor advantages of an Attribute without any of the "superpowers" of the Attribute, so if someone had a Latent Fire-X Attribute, then they'd nonchalantly be resistant to fire without any sort of fire-related attacks or abilities. The lower half of the Tiers (U,V and W) tend to be more akin to skills, passive abilities and weapons while the higher half (X,Y and Z) are more like the typical "superpowers" you'd come to expect. Nobody below Tier-X should be manifesting elements out of nowhere, while characters with Tier-X attributes and above totally can just create whatever their element is out of thin air to varying degrees depending on their Attributes' Tiers.)

(To use Blütgrindor as an example, her Active Elemental Attributes are:)

Anger-Z
Darkness-W
Pleasure-V
Fire-W
Metal-X
Water-W

(…And her Latent Elemental Attributes would be:)

Flesh-Z
Dusk-W
Dawn-W
Pain-Z
Light-V
Electricity-Z

(I came to give her the Attributes I did to represent her powers and abilities, so Anger and Metal are powerful because she's a rage-fueled war machine that can essentially create a practically infinite supply of swords from her arms to launch at people, Darkness, Fire and Water are in the middle because while she does have very powerful attacks using them, they're limited to her weapons that are a part of her body, namely her Thoron Cannon (Darkness) and Corrupted Holy Sword (Fire) and her limited Hydrokinetic abilities I keep forgetting that she's supposed to have, mainly because they're very limited, she can basically swim better than she should physically be able to and push and pull everything in the water towards and away from her. She can't shoot water projectiles or physically lift water out of it's source, but she can create dangerous currents and whirlpools around herself if submerged in a sufficiently large body of water and is more physically powerful while submerged in a sufficiently large body of water, so because of the various limitations around it, like only working if there's enough water for her to be able to swim and dive into, it's only Tier-W despite being one of her own innate abilities and not one of her weapons' abilities. Pleasure's the weakest of the Active Attributes because it's more of a strong personality trait that constantly and continuously manifests as her fighting style being incredibly sadistic and relishing in the violence to the point of occasional cannibalism.)

(The Latent Attributes are Flesh-Z and Electricity-Z because she's an Undefinable and all Undefinables have Latent Flesh-Z, Metal-Z and Electricity-Z Attributes and her Active Metal-X Attribute overrides the Latent one, meaning the Latent "slot" it would "occupy" is free to be used for something else. The Dusk-W and Dawn-W make her passively more powerful at these times of the day/night cycle, but otherwise don't do much due to being both Latent and W-Tier. Pain-Z should go without explanation if you've seen her backstory, she's basically practically immune to physical pain, she still feels it, but her tolerance is absurd because she's almost assuredly endured much, much worse. Light-V also makes sense if you've seen her backstory, it's leftovers from when she was the naive, peace-seeking predestined chosen one savior, now it's just a passive resistance to Light-Element attacks and powers, symbolic of her beyond-jaded and nihilistic worldview that prioritizes sadistic violence and excessive indulging in various vices.)

(I hope this makes it easier to understand the Elemental Attribute system, I personally think of it more as a classification tool to help quantify who should be able to do what than an outright decree on the hard limits of characters.)

(I also need to come up with a chart that explains what EA's have advantages and disadvantages to what, but not right now.)

The angel intervenes.

ATTENTION COC!

I know things have gotten bad, but I have

A plan.

The angel descends into the midst of the mob. Many of them panic, but the angel prevents them from hurting each other.

Because he descended into the center, the crowd turns around to face the angel.

I’m no longer compromising with your cause. You crossed a line when you entered these grounds that are held sacred.

“Crossed a line? But it’s a circle, there is no line.”

Rookie mistake. They claimed that circles are lineless. The angel takes the opportunity.

So you finally show yourselves to be ignorant after all. It’s a shame, really. One of you kept visiting me in hyperspace when I was lonely, but now? You’ve left me no choice. Prepare to get schooled!

“Oh no”
“He’s lost it”
“We’re screwed”

I may have lost my mind, but at least I know what my limits are.
The same can’t be said for you guys, who act as though you can do anything just because of minor grievances with the dimension you were born in.
As someone who actually lives in a higher dimension, the question there is left to ask,, is why?

The angel waits for an answer. The crowd is silent.

You wouldn’t want to be trapped in an impossible maze right?

“what?”
“No, he wouldn’t…”

I’m not going to send you to any hell dimensions, that was just a hypothetical to test you.
What do you value most, your curiosity, or your sanity?

It’s difficult for the untrained ear to tell, but the angel senses that most people would prefer to not go insane by the arcane.

That’s what I like to hear. Though it does make me sad that it’s too late for me to do the same.

The angel carefully dismisses the crowd.

A mysterious figure then appears behind the crowd seated beneath a tent full of various arms and armaments.

"GET YOUR FREE WEAPONS OF WAR!!! RPGS HALF-OFF TODAY ONLY!!! SPECIAL LAYAWAY ON IEDS!!! YOU CAN'T BE AN ENRAGED MOB WITHOUT THEM!!!" The figure shouted from behind a cash register.

The mob regained their fury and began hastily purchasing the various weapons with sloppily scratched-out markings reading "PROPERTY OF THE ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF IRAN ARMY" in Arabic on their sides. It's not like they would have recognized what it meant anyways, Iran was Balkanized after WWIII and is no longer a recognized entity, it's territory being home to several small countries all claiming to be the true Iran. Nobody bought the F-14A, not only was it too expensive, but it didn't work with one of it's variable-geometry wings stuck and much of it's skin missing. The same went for the SU-57, only that it was in even worse condition than the F-14A despite being unopened in it's shipping container. Somehow it was shipped from the factory without any of it's electronics, weapons or even it's engines.

Reignited and rearmed, the mob resumed their stampede towards the Circle Cult's Cathedral. Only now with 500% more off-brand ripoffs of off-brand AK ripoff mag dumps straight up into the air. The rioters began firing rockets through the windows of the Circle Cult's Cathedral and ramming stolen rental vans with improvised armor welded onto them through the walls.

The figure and their tent quickly sped away with it's tent packed, all of their wares sold except for the aforementioned F-14A and SU-57, which were simply dumped into a nearby sewage canal with not a single thought. Nothing of value was lost.

Brother Boi is sweeping the floors between the pews as the rioters attacked the church, he didn't react much as he was listening to Drum and Bass music with his headphones on.
As the first rioters broke the front entry, Brother Boi let out a frustrated sigh and said
"Not even a week after we rebuilt"
He then pulls a rope from between the temple curtains, leading to one of the curtains falling off
"Crap, wrong rope"
said Brother Boi as he hurried to another rope which then he pulled leading to a web falling on the rioters who were then tased by the electrified web
Once subdued (and only slightly burned) the rioters fell uncouncious, looking at the other rioters coming through the windows. He then opened a Holey Circle statue and pressed a button inside of it, which opened a wall behind the major podium, revealing an armoury fulled with non-lethal counter measures. Tasers, beanbag guns, high power waterguns and more
Brother Quiet_Boi had spent a lot of time cleaning and repairing the church, and now someone had to pay for destroying it again

(I had another idea for Shitbots: Number 1224 and Number 1225. They're a pair of Christmas-themed Shitbots with 1224 having a Reindeer-themed outfit and 1225 having a Santa-themed outfit. They do non-stop shenanigans in the spirit of Christmas and there's potentially no limits to lengths their jolly jackassery will go to in order to festively spread holiday cheer… while duel wielding medium plasma throwers… and explosives.)

(Also had an idea for a Shitbot exclusive weapon: Phlogiston Thermite.)

(A material named for the obsolete and disproven theory of combustion that was initially invented as a better fuel source for older-model Shitbots, but quickly became the basis for numerous weapons after all of the engines it was tested on immediately melted into molten goop upon combusting it. When combusted, it produces absurd amounts of heat capable of nigh-instantly melting through metal. It is used in specialized blades and guns in order to enable them to rapidly cleave into and penetrate armor. Phlogiston Guns are also much smaller than Plasma Throwers, enabling them to be used by regular Humans without being scaled down until they're effectively peashooters.)

(The main downside is that when it combusts, it's all flame and no blast. Sure everything will be on fire, but there's no shockwave. So it can get through an Undefinable's armor no problem as long as they're not absurdly thick, dense and tanky, but doesn't do much to their insides. And due to it being pure heat, if a Phlogiston weapons overheats, it's no longer a weapon, it's a glowing red pile of liquid metal on the ground, on the upside it'll be too hot to hold forcing you to drop it before it gets to that point, though. The overheating issue also puts an upper limit into how large Phlogiston weapons can be due to the fact that the more Phlogiston Thermite you have in one place, the hotter it will be. So all the high-rate of fire Phlogiston Guns are going to be relatively small and the larger ones are going to be stuck as single-shot man-portable cannons because forcing the user to reload the entire weapon in between ever round fired is the only way to give it enough time to cool down, complete with a couple otherwise unnecessary extra steps to reloading it that solely exist to make you take longer.)

(It doesn't replace Plasma Throwers due to it being all penetration and no stopping power, with Plasma Throwers being the better option at range. Unless you're an ordinary Human and the lightest Plasma Thrower that packs enough punch to actually injure the Undefinable your shooting at is a 75-125 lbs./34-56.7kg behemoth that's going to exhaust you at an alarming rate if it doesn't break your arms first because it's the weighs 3-5 times anything a heavy gun usually weighs. But they are the better option for blades, though.)

(I'm trying to develop a more diverse and wacky arsenal for both sides since I want there to be contrast between the Shirleyists and the Circle Cult. With the Shirleyists having edgier weapons of course. I'll have you know that our plasma isn't a girly green color, like yours, it's an uber-masculine neon pink and purple color.)

I love this idea, and I wish to include a VTOL mode which is basically just most of the crew standing on the deck and windmilling their arms at ludicrous speed; whilst a few of them use leaf blowers to change the sails to give them the ability to move still..

Might as well, I enjoy hearing the back story and deep lore of your characters as it's interesting and allows me to research the worst possible puns to use in my taunts, which is vital to national security.

(After spending a month OD'ing on the pure unfiltered insanity that is Ultrakill and Lethal Company, as well as there associated communities, I have a strong desire to base Shitbot infiltration squads on the average Lethal Company team where they just YOLO into places of pure, unadulterated horror, steal everything that isn't nailed down and then use whatever they find in the name of Good!)

(Screaming mound of flesh that causes everyone who stays near it to go absolutely insane?)

(Slap some google eyes on it and name it Geoff. It's now our beloved mascot.)

(A cursed sword that will bend and twist like a snake to strike the nearest living thing to drain it of its blood?)

(Paint the symbol of the Undeserving Circle on it to sanctify that bitch and add springs to it so it sproings like a door stopper when it strikes.)

(Ancient explosives from long abandoned weapons of war that have begun to form unstable crystalline structures?)

(Carefully place them into maracas and sneak them into enemy territory, for not even the highly disciplined elite of our foe can resist picking them up and shaking up a mean rumba beat.)

(The more hilariously idiotic the weapon, the better it is, because no one expects Kar'Karesh the Sin Eater to be stuffed into a rubber chicken and thrown out the back of a beaten-too-shit VW campervan from the 60's doing 6,000 revs and 18mph)

(Shitbot infiltrators acting like the average Lethal Company team honestly isn't very far off from what you've shown of them so far, actually. Remember that time they invaded another country just to steal dirt?)

(Universe-01 & Universe-04 lore is gonna be a little on the "huh, weird that you came up with this"-side because I came up with it pre-COVID and the main catalyst for what's different in the setting's alternate timeline is a virus appearing around December 1999/January 2000, killing a large enough amount of people globally to cause widespread chaos and panic and then promptly disappearing with the world going nuts and several massive wars happening directly afterward. I came up with it (in the mid-2010's, mind you) because I thought that'd be the most believable and plausible way for the world to go from relatively peaceful with no major wars to international panic and multiple superpowers declaring war on each other with modern equipment actually getting used instead of sitting on a shelf for 30 years until it gets thrown out because of a budget cut. Then low-and-behold, the world IRL gets flipped upside-down because of a virus and we now have two wars going on and we've even got Russia starting fights again. My only regret is not putting out stuff sooner, then at least I could watch the world go up in flames with a hat that reads "I really wish I wasn't clairvoyant right now." instead of with my hair and scalp exposed to the elements. Sure, COVID deaths didn't go into the billions with several smaller, less-developed countries that weren't well equipped for a normal pandemic let alone an absurd one losing over two-thirds of their populations and we didn't get an international military coalition against China because they started invading everyone left-and-right in a panic because the pandemic just made their population decline astronomically worse to the point that they had a bigger manpower deficit than the Overlook Hotel during the off-season, but I still think it's close enough to warrant a commemorative hat.)

(But the vast majority of the actual events of the stories for these settings take place 2019 or later, with World War III kicking off in Universe-01 and… not kicking off in Universe-04. Not to say that Universe-04 is completely peaceful, Bex's and Scarlette Bolide's stories take place in U-04, for context. There's no World War, but there's still plenty of conflicts, just like so-called "peacetimes" IRL.)

(Anyways, the virus mainly infects melanocytes and spreads from there and had a mutagenic affect on Humanity, resulting in some people like the Bundy sisters having completely depigmented skin and purple eyes, not to mention Violet's naturally nigh-lavender hair. They're not true albinos as their eyes, hair, nails, lips and a few other things are still pigmented, but there's also an increased incidence of actual Albinism and other non-infectious/congenital skin disorders such as Vitiligo, Eczema, Dermatitis, Psoriasis, etc. Not to mention the increased incidence of Skin Cancer as a direct result of the previously mentioned conditions. It also caused new pigments to appear, once again as you can see with Violet Bundy's purple hair and eyes. Everyone got infected at some point before the virus just decided to pull a Batman on the entire Human race and disappear as quickly as it appeared and violently maimed everyone. On the bright side, this means that everyone who survived should have at least some form of immunity to it if it ever comes back, hypothetically speaking. On the down side, the Early-2000's is now like the 1950's: A lot of people remember it positively and will swear up and down that it was a better time, just don't mention Polio, or in U-01/04's case: People's skin rotting off because they caught a funny virus and now their body forgot how to make skin and there's nothing anybody can do but watch as you peel like a moldy onion and hope the grafts stick. Assuming the infection hasn't already quietly progressed to your internal organs and you're just in that in-between phase right before mass organ dysfunction over a period of a few months until you die of multiple organ failure because their genes got jumbled into nonsensical spaghetti worse than your skin was, that is. Or you got beat to death for sneezing twice in a row because it's allergy season and the dude across the room from you is irrationally paranoid about catching the virus. (He will probably catch it anyways and be left with permanent severe disabilities, assuming he's not condemned to a slow death via the aforementioned rotting alive.) And no vaccine, cure or any method to resist the effects of the virus were developed because it went through the entire Human population absurdly fast and disappeared before anyone could properly research it. No new infections were reported as of late-2000 because everyone had been infected by then and the last few people that weren't immune to it died mid-2001, combining that with the massive death toll and the inability to identify any new instances of the virus anywhere outside of the few lab samples that displayed the bizarre characteristic of decomposing despite the greatest efforts to preserve them for research and you've got a society hyper-focused on rebuilding instead of researching anything to do with the virus.)

(But, now with several countries being thrown into massive crises because of the virus, numerous conflicts are ignited across the globe. The War On Terror still happens for similar but different reasons, China tries to annex the entirety of Asia in an attempt to not collapse from it's newly hyper-accelerated demographic decline, South America and Sub-Saharan African have become host to a wide variety of border disputes and land grabs that threatened to turn into forever wars and Russia is doing Russia things in Non-Russia East European countries much to the chagrin of the International Community. Oh, and North America and Europe are trying desperately to pick up the pieces, but can't decide if they should fix their problems or other countries' problems first, as per usual, once again proving that Kindness and Generosity can be a vice all to themselves if the situation's bad enough. Nothing connected enough to qualify as World War III yet, though.)

(Because almost 3 Billion people just died over a period of roughly 18 months, a bunch of movements lost all traction. Environmentalism just straight up doesn't exist as an active mainstream political movement or philosophy anymore, probably because all that rhetoric of the Earth being overpopulated and consumption being out of control fell flat on it's face when nearly half of the species died and nothing changed, besides people were much too preoccupied with other more immediately pressing issues, like quickly appointing new government and corporate officials as hastily as possible because the old ones kinda, y'know, spontaneously rotted to death after getting $5 Billion worth of medical procedures done to them to no avail. The European Union also collapsed as a result of the collective worldwide international turmoil, but not before starting an international science experiment to get everybody's hopes up after the big catastrophe that totally won't backfire and create another troublesome period in world history 15-20 years down the road. Also, in case you're wondering, the 2008 election was wild. Instead of being Obama vs. McCain, it was Joe Lieberman (who was severely crippled in a car accident in 2001 in this timeline, and thus requires constant usage of various medical equipment to function.) with Hillary Clinton as his Vice vs. G. Gordon Liddy of Watergate scandal fame with Rush Limbaugh as his Vice. Liddy won because more people recognized him from Miami Vice than any major US political scandal and Lieberman and Clinton were too busy blaming video games, rap music and action films for violent crime. Not to mention Lieberman's condition not exactly inspiring confidence in voters. 2012 Was Limbaugh with John McCain as his vice (with VP Limbaugh temporarily taking over after President Liddy is diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease in late 2010, resulting in him deciding against running for a second term) vs. Obama with Tom Morello as his vice, but this results in Limbaugh getting elected because Morello kept driving away more Centrist voters and ruining Obama's popularity. Limbaugh also decides against running for a second term after facing medical issues of his own as a result of his countless poor health choices, meaning 2016 went about the same as it did IRL, only with slightly more heckling at Clinton due to her failed attempt at becoming VP in 2008 and "Pokemon GO! to the polls" being even more negatively received than it was IRL because of her 2008 election bid's hostile stance towards gaming. George W. Bush's presidency from 2000-2007 was more or less the same aside from the aforementioned differences in the timeline and the fact that the sheer stress of the societal upheaval caused by the virus caused Dick Cheney to die of a sudden simultaneous heart attack and stroke in late 2001, with him being replaced by Harry Whittington, who thanks to the lack of a Dick Cheney, is completely unharmed by any stray birdshot pellets.)

(But, that's the Early 2000's. By 2019 this is all just another bleak chapter of history for people to read about, say "how awful" and continue on with their day as if nothing happened. People did it in the 50's after WWII, they'll totally do it again if something else horrible happens, trust me. Society has the memory of a goldfish with Alzheimer's.)

(Now that that's out of the way, we can talk about actual relevant character lore and the cascade of events directly responsible for the Third World War…)

(…Next time!)

>(Shitbot infiltrators acting like the average Lethal Company team honestly isn't very far off from what you've shown of them so far, actually. Remember that time they invaded another country just to steal dirt?)
____________________________________________________________

(I have written so much nonsense for these guys that I forgot about the time I created an entire people whose society was built upon the collection of as much dirt and shit they could find in order to expand their island home in the aborted Civ game we tried to run years ago.)

(I have come to assert my dominance over the thread.)

(No one can challenge me, for they either have too many or too few limbs; or their anatomy does not allow them to strike the correct pose.)

(Yes, victory is now unquestionably mine.)

(Tiny lore drop: In Universe-01/04, 2G Cellular Networks were never phased out, so Shirley's still using a Motorola StarTAC 8600 flip phone from 1997. And the newest device that she owns is a Nintendo DS Lite, mostly having animated movie tie-in games and pet sims, with the one exception of the 2012 Battleship film's tie-in game, which she mistakenly thought was a video game adaptation of the board game, not a video game adaptation of the 2012 action film that's an adaptation of the board game. I've played it, it sucks, it's a meh-tier turn-based strategy game where the enemy AI regularly takes upwards of three minutes on it's turn just to move one ship two tiles in a random direction and then cheats in fog-of-war maps. At least the alien ship designs they made up for the game are cool. Too bad they're all absolutely crunched 3D models with all of less-than-50 polygons and textures so blurry and unintelligible, I was afraid I was going blind for a minute when I first saw them. I've seen lower budget 3D games on the DS that look monumentally better than Battleship DS.)

(Also, if you flip Soup King upside-down, he becomes Satanic imagery. That's not cool Soup King, you're not one of those Dee-Ehn-Dee players that listens to music with a parental advisory label on it, are you? Think of the children!)

>Also, if you flip Soup King upside-down, he becomes Satanic imagery. That's not cool Soup King, you're not one of those Dee-Ehn-Dee players that listens to music with a parental advisory label on it, are you? Think of the children!

(In the original Christian texts, flipping the cross upside down doubles its holy power, therefore making me even gooderer.)

(The nice thing about worshipping a circle is that no matter how you turn it, it's still a circle.)

(How do you know a square is a square and not a rhombus that has fallen over?)

(If you hire a poor contractor, your Righteous Rectangle becomes a Perverted Parallelogram.)

(And if you turn Shirley upside down, you get a public indecency charge.)

• >"(The nice thing about worshiping a circle is that no matter how you turn it, it's still a circle.)"

(Not if you rotate it three-dimensionally 90 degrees along either it's X or Y axis relative to the observer, then it becomes nothing as it is a two-dimensional object and thus has no sides. Unless it's actually a three-dimensional disk, then it would become a flat line instead, or a line segment if we're talking about geometry. But then again, if the disk is of sufficient thickness, upon being rotated it would become a rectangle, or possibly even a square.)

(How about an ORB?)
(Cue to brother _Boi pondering the orb)

(The CoC already has an ORB, it calls itself "The Angel", remember?)

(After pondering Brother_Boi's ponderings and Kaijin's own observations, I have come to the conclusion that Olors is probably the avatar of God and that if we applied the same metric to Shirley we'd just end up with a very silly looking sausage.)

(I just had the weird epiphany that the only place I haven't made a weird ramble about actual Religion and Theology is this thread and now I'm dedicated to continuing to not discuss those subjects here as a joke.)

(Also, I need to draw that thing that explains why Quiet_boi was at the strip club his therapist moonlights at and getting emotionally crit-ed by Jabberjaw. Too bad I'm busy with height charts.)

(Also, since Soup King was talking about not knowing what Sam should sound like in that comment section, personally, IMO, since she's Soup King's character, she should have a British accent. Mainly because I don't like the stereotypical anime voices and will do anything to get away from it, Hell, I'll take Sam being voiced by Keith David [impression, let's be realistic here] over a typical anime girl voice. (Xenoblade Chronicles FTW.))

(I also want to introduce more wacky OCs just so we can have different Shirleyist factions and more variety than just world police US military and Undefinables. I've got some characters that are just a little… y'know… silly, goofy, absurd even. More than I've already shown.)

(Actual shitpost in the shitpost thread.)

>Also, since Soup King was talking about not knowing what Sam should sound like in that comment section, personally, IMO, since she's Soup King's character, she should have a British accent. Mainly because I don't like the stereotypical anime voices and will do anything to get away from it

(I'm more fond of the rural accents, but here's a list of the main ones and I'll let you guys head cannon which voice Sam talks in)

(I've started work on something that's not a Height Chart for once…)

(…)

(…A Length Chart!!!)

(…)

(…For Shitbot Plasma Throwers!!!)

(I'll post it when it's finished, the plasma thrower variants that'll be on it are Plasma Pistol (1'6" long), Plasma Submachine gun (2'9" long), Light Plasma Thrower (4' long), Medium Plasma Thrower (5'6" long) and Heavy Plasma Thrower (7' long).)

(They'll all have iron sights and detachable magazines, except for the Heavy Plasma Thrower, which will have a tube attached to a plasma tank, intended to be the plasma equivalent of a belt of cartridges, oh, and the Medium will have a bipod and the Heavy will have a tripod.)

(An actual lore-wise idea I had would be Plasma weapons (at least "man-portable" ones) being limited in range due to the plasma losing heat and energy to the surrounding environment after it leaves the weapon, basically evaporating past a certain distance depending on the size of the weapon, like 100yds./91.44m for the Pistol, 250yds./228.6m for the SMG, 500yds./457.2m for the Light, 1000yds./914.4m for the Medium and 2000yds./1828.8m for the Heavy. The Super Heavy Plasma Thrower on the Shitbot Stalwarts would probably be somewhere in the tens of miles, since it is the size of a large late-WWII naval gun.)

(It'd make a nice balance to the Shitbot arsenal with Phlogiston Thermite weapons making up most of the better examples in the Melee and Long Range Small Arms categories with the Plasma Throwers being the better Short and Medium Range "Small" Arms. You'd probably be better closing the gap between yourself and an Undefinable to an extent anyways since most of the non-Undefinable Revelation ones tend to have some sort of guided missiles at their disposal, giving them a distinct advantage and longer distances.)

(Also, Plasma Swords are a thing, but since plasma weapons are all automatically high-explosive… They're basically Lunge Mine 2: Highly Conductive Electromagnetic Boogaloo.)

(I just remembered that Soup King's already uploaded a .gif that essentially sums up how the aforementioned Plasma Swords work:)

(I don't know why, but the idea of Shitbots being more melee-oriented despite still primarily using ranged weapons is inexplicably hilarious. I guess a Plasma Thrower's weight alone would make it a dangerous melee weapon, even if it's completely out of ammunition.)

(I legit forgot how good he is at making gifs like this, I wish he had time to make some more)