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"…Unfortunately, that was only the beginning of my agony…" Blütgrindor said as the scene around them changed to a ship at sea, evidently theirs retreating. The red-haired woman stood discussing something discreetly with a few other warriors bearing the same symbol her Pegasus was marked with a look of utmost disgust on her face. Everyone on the ship seemed to be either somber or visibly enraged. Healers were busy tending to the wounded and injured and the white-haired woman was laying face-down on a table as a young healer was trying to close the massive gash in her shoulder. The prince that had survived was standing by her trying to assess the extend of their losses and what they were to do now. The red-haired woman then walked toward the white-haired one with the warriors she was talking to earlier standing behind her. "Sister, is that you?" The white-haired woman feebly groaned as she was unable to look up while being operated on.

"My sister is dead. Don't ever call me that." The red-haired woman spat at the white-haired one sharply and angrily.

"What are you doing?" Retorted the lithe summoner as she emerged from an unlit corner and stood next to the white-haired woman.

"What was she doing?" The red-haired woman snapped. "What were you doing!" She shouted as she shot a glare at the prince. "I want answers, wretch!" She spat at the white-haired woman.

The healer had finished stitching the white-haired woman's shoulder closed, but before she could cut off the excess string, her patient had sat up and faced the red-haired woman.

"The loss of our siblings tortures me as much as it does you, sister, but I do not understand why you are acting with such hostility towards me and Prince-" The red-haired woman cut her off. "Because it seems awfully convenient to me that of two warring families, one loses it's oldest and youngest members to the chaos of war while another exits the exact same bloodbath unscathed…"

"I do not-" The white-haired woman tried to speak but once again cut off, this time by a different sister, the woman in black-and-purple armor. "What are you trying to say about our dear little sister?" She retorted.

"Nothing I wouldn't say about you either! Traitor!" The red-haired woman shouted, calling the attention of the entire ship. "My brother and sister are dead because of you and you think I wouldn't notice the fact that they lost nobody at al-" For once the red-haired woman was cut off.

"Oh, we lost somebody all right…" Said a blonde woman sitting in a corner, with what's left of her armor smashed and twisted apart. She stood up and staggered towards the red-haired woman while holding a gash in her waist closed. "…I knew him like the back of my hand, we guarded the border for years until we joined this army. A few hours ago I watched him get skewered and hacked apart and nearly ended up the same, you think that just because you lost a few people that other people don't matter, or that you or them are special somehow? Well guess what I think you damn royal kids need to-" The blonde woman was cut off by an older, scarred woman who had just stopped tending to her mount, a large golden bird, to defend her leader. "Everyone, calm yourselves! This is a war, death was assured to happen, we all knew what we were risking when we joined her on her quest, the worst thing we can do right now is to begin accusing each other of schemes and pl-"

"Shut up you morbid old crone! What do you know of losing your family, or even having one for that matter!" Shouted the red-haired woman, who at this point was fuming with rage.

"Your majesty, this is unbecoming of someone of your rank and statu-" Said one of the red-haired woman's warriors, who was quickly cut off and reprimanded.

The white-haired woman was horrified by the way everyone had quickly returned to their divided ways and desperately tried to speak.

"Please, stop fighting! We can't do this right now! We have to-" She was struck across the face by her red-haired sister who had drawn her weapon and begun to threaten her with grievous punishments for daring to speak. "There never was an unseen enemy! There was nothing at the bottom of that canyon! You're just trying to take everything from me and my people! I know it! I know what you filthy savages are trying to do and I won't let you! Right here and right now!" The red-haired woman shouted.

"Please don't do this…" Said the white-haired woman as she staggered onto her feet. "Please, after everything we've done togeth-"

"Silence traitor!" Shrieked the red-haired woman.

"…And just like that, everything began crumbling apart…" Blütgrindor explained as the inhabitants of the ship began fighting each other. The white-haired woman tried to defend herself but the stitches in her shoulder were ripped apart by one of her assailants and she found herself being gutted by the blade of the red-haired woman's naginata and thrown over the side of the ship. "Goodbye, scum!" She said as the white-haired woman plummeted into the dark, deep ocean.

The white-haired woman felt herself fade quickly as the icy cold waters became blacker and blacker with darkness the deeper she sunk, the last sight she ever saw was the bodies of her allies crashing through the water's surface towards her as battered and bloody as she was.

A deep, booming voice called the white-haired woman's name seemingly from every direction at once. She struggled to open her eyes but found a violet light emanating from the infinite void below her.

"Is… is this the afterlife?" She tried to croak out with her collapsed lungs.

"In a sense… everywhere you go will be the afterlife, young warrior!" The voice replied, it's massive volume pushing her back with each syllable.

"Why… why…"

"Don't strain yourself… speaking of which, you look as if you could use some generosity. Especially after all you've done for people!" The voice said as it shined a beam of light onto her.

"Please… just… don't let my efforts go to waste… if… if… nobody stops the true enemy of… of…"

"Oh, but you could! With a few… gifts from my Goddess, Shirley! …If you devote yourself wholly to her…" The voice offered.

"Please… don't let my mission be failed… don't let the true enem…" The white-haired woman tried to cough, but found that the muscles necessary to had been severed in the fight and merely fell silent instead.

"Excellent!" The voice said as the white-haired woman was engulfed in violet light and began reshaping her into something else.

"I christen you as… Blütgrindor!" He announced as the black and gold-plated warrior took form with her red hair trailing behind her.

"…And let's not forget your friends, shall we?" The voice said as the bodies of the others began glowing in the same manner and taking new shapes. The slain were revived as mechanical titans capable of taking any form they need to carry out their mission.

"Now go… and bring your unseen enemy… and your traitors… to oblivion!" The voice shouted as Blütgrindor changed to her dragon form and flew upwards with such velocity that the waters ripped themselves apart a she ascended out of the ocean surface.

"I will show those who have wronged me their mistake and how dearly it will cost them!" Blütgrindor announced as the other Undefinables leaped from the sea and trailed behind her towards the red-haired woman's kingdom.

The red-haired woman had finished holding the funeral ceremonies for her brother and sister the day before and was in the middle of her coronation as queen. She was handed the sacred golden sword the white-haired woman had wielded and had just received her crown and title when a screeching roar started to emanate from over the horizon. Everyone turned to see the source of the sound when a massive, silver dragon swooped down from the sky, crashing through the audience, began shifting it's scales and limbs around into the shape of a large, metallic figure and ground to a screeching halt with clawed feet leaving large streaks ripped into the floor.

"Who are you, and how dare you charge in this palace and trample our guests like that!" The red-haired woman shouted at the figure, who merely extended her hand towards her from across the room and said:

"You have something of mine."

Before the red-haired woman could express confusion, the golden sword leaped from her hands and into the massive figure's, where it suddenly swirled with a violet light that extended, enlarged and corrupted it into a massive, glowing, chainsaw-like blade that leaked and spurted molten metal onto the ground beneath it. The intruder merely held the blade to herself, upon which it contorted, split apart and merged into her armor.

"Wha- hey… the only one who could call the sword like that would be… it's not possible! What makes you think you can just do this to me?" The red-haired woman demanded.

"How about I return the favor then!" The figure announced as she extended a small cannon from her chest and fired a sphere of violet energy at the red-haired woman, which upon striking her, caused her to be launched backwards, ignite and dissolve into nothing before the entire room's eyes.

The guards were catatonic from fear and the audience whimpered and sobbed to themselves while attempting to avoid making a noise. The figure then raised her arms in the air and shouted to the world around her:

"I AM BLÜTGRINDOR!!!"

The palace vanished and the Kotlander Champion found himself back in the bleak, burning battlefield as the lithe, macabre Undefinable stopped projecting. Blütgrindor, no longer in sight continued speaking:

"After that, I returned to that gorge and destroyed the army that had defeated my predecessor, then I descended the canyon and found the enemy I sought, I killed that mad god and secured his power for myself! And once that was done, I moved through the planes of existence and brought the might of the Church of Shirley to everything I found. That was millennia ago and the one constant across every world I've visited is the existence of backwards barbarians like you that reject the good graces of Shirley!" She said.

The Champion suddenly felt a pain rip through his shoulder and was lifted off of the ground. Blütgrindor had appeared behind him and stabbed her clawed hand underneath his clavicle and held him by it. "Your kind cannot be reasoned with and can only be destroyed, else, you'll destroy everything…" She explained as she fired her chest cannon point-blank into his back, obliterating the lower half of his body. "Your weakness disgusts me!" She said as she cast his broken torso aside, where it rolled into a ditch full of other slain members of Kotland's military.

(OP, through sheer despair, has ascended beyond this plain of existence, tearing a hole in the fabric of reality that begins to suck in matter and occasionally spit out strange otherwordly objects.)

(Soup King, we have to stop, my hands are developing a mind of their own and are going to uncontrollably start typing stories about a rather admittedly derivative set of characters if we keep this up! I've already prepared canvasses to make more character sheets, we have to stop here and now! You know I can't resist the chance to whip up an edgefest RP post!)

(Also, it would appear I'd have a range advantage over you in terms of weaponry preferred, although your preferences seem easier to control.)

(Wait, I just realized a bad thing: Nut Commoner doesn't fit into the timeline anywhere! Now I've got to go figure out where to shove him and his underlings!)

(Also, what were you talking about when you were talking about the Undefinable's designation?)

Well, I've got a hold of your design documents and it clearly states on Page 64, paragraph 8, clause 1b:

I can do two-parters too!
____________________________________________________________________________

(OP has sprouted multiple mouths and is uncontrollably guzzling Iron Bru.)

"They always craved the certainty and strength of steel. The purity of the machine."

"But they never understood. Never comprehended what it truly meant."

Blütgrindor took her gaze away from the pile of slain soldiers and turned to face the source of the hollow, melancholic voice behind her.

"Ah, Nut Commoner. Why don't you be a good little cur and scurry along now?

The spike-infused monstrosity walked past Blütgrindor to the pile of dead soldiers and crouched down.

He looked over the pile and then slowly, gently lifted one of the soldiers out.

What remained of the soldiers tunic dangled below his knees, the long sleeves rolled up to his wrists. His remaining leg danced in the breeze as the heavy boot caused it to swing perpetually.

The helmet, two-sizes too big for it's owners head, fell off as the body rose up off the floor; exposing the face of a man so young her was barely a man at all. The mouth was clenched shut, but the eyes were open and full of terror.

"It is a curious and tragic existence."

"They spend everyday of their lives becoming stronger than they were the day before, until at some random point, some fluke of fate, causes this 'Temple' of theirs to turn on them, stealing from them the strength it had given until they return once more from whence they came."

"Truly, they are weak."

"But yet…yet you view them as a threat."

"So how weak does that make you?"

"And what would something as twisted and pathetic as you know about strength?"

Nut Commoner slowly laid the soldier upon the ground and, with great care and tenderness, folded his arms across their chest and close their eyes.

"You may wish to shield your eyes, child. Some find my true form unpleasant to look upon."

The centre of the machine began to glow white hot, which steadily spread out to the rest of the body.

The fierce radiance grew in intensity until it seems to wholly encompass everything.

For a brief moment, there was nothing but light and rustling of wind.

The light dimmed as quickly as it began and where Nut Commoner once stood was a figure very reminiscent of the Undefinables themselves.

Before them, floating slightly off the ground, was a brass machine in the shape of a man.
Intricate, mechanical angel wings of the finest craftsmanship spread out of its back. Upon its forehead and being projected a few feet above its head was a silver, winged circle.

A soft, golden glow radiated from the entire machine, but it was most concentrated in its eyes which gazed down sorrowfully at the Undefinables surrounding it.

"DEMON!"

Blütgrindor drew her golden chainsaw-like sword and contorted her lithe body as much as she could to make her swing as powerful as possible.

The machine before her made no attempt to dodge or stop her blow as it rocketed towards him at a furious speed.

There was a screech and shattering of metal, and a few seconds later, the shards of Blütgrindor's sword liquified, slithered up her body and re-forged themselves back together.

"Be not afraid, child."

"Begone, foul creature! You bring naught but death and ruin wherever you go!"

"The same can be said of you, young one."

The rest of the Undefinables formed a circle around their leader as she advanced upon the machine, her voice a metallic hiss filled with vehement fury.

"They told me all about you! They told about your deceit! They told me about your heresy! They to-"

"They never did heal your shoulder, did they child?"

The question caught Blütgrindor off guard and made her pause mid-step.

"What!?

"I can feel your pain, child. Your right shoulder grieves you terribly."

"H-how do you kn-"

Blütgrindor was cut off by an icy sigh from the machine as it appeared to study every inch of her body.

"I see they also neglected to heal that horrible, horrible wound in your side."

"And your throat, my word child, I'm surprised you can even bare to speak, you poor thing."

The machine slowly spun around and examined each Undefinable in turn. It then returned to face Blütgrindor, but it's focus was at a spot somewhere behind her.

"Not a single one was spared? When did you become so cruel, old friend?"

The bewilderment in Blütgrindor's heart once more gave way to cold fury, leading her to shatter her sword against the machine once again.

"I care not how you know of our ailments, I will not allow you to deceive us from our righteous path!"

The machine stared blankly into the snarling face of Blütgrindor, the light of its eyes reflecting in her own.

"Do you even remember why you're here, child?"

"To bring the light and glory of Shirley to all of the godless heathens of the multiverse!"

"That is incorrect."

"And how wo-"

"You are here, because in your desperation, in your hatred, in your anger, you made a pact with someone who did not have your best interests at heart."

"Wait, how do y-"

"And because of that, you do not see how they betrayed you."

Blütgrindor let out a baleful shriek and let out a flurry of blows with her sword, feet and hands; each one seemingly having no effect on the machine as it just stood there, passively observing her actions.

"How dare you speak of that which you know not! I saved them! I saved them al!."

"Really? That is not what I saw, child."

"And what did you see, devil?

"Bodies in the street. Cities turned to ash. A world ruined in the name of a god that rejects you and your creator."

"Blasphemous Dog! How dare you claim to know Shirley's will!"

"The will of Shirley is very clear to me, child."

"Pftt, you are getting lazy in your lies, wretch."

The body of the machine once more glowed pure white and a flash of light blinded all of the Undefinables, robbing them of their sight.

When there sight returned, it was not through their own eyes that they perceived the world, but they were peering out at it from behind some sort of mask; as if viewing it from a ship's porthole.

The scene that greeted them was a heated discussion between what was presumably the devil machine and…could it be? Truly be…

"…Shirley, you must calm down."

"How can I calm down!? You've seen what he's been doing in my name?"

"He's just misguided. He truly does mean well."

"Fifteen, do you know how much blood is on his hands!? On my hands, because of him!"

"…"

"You do, don't you!?"

"He has always been a person of…blind faith. One cannot guide the sun, only move from it's path."

"But this is not what I want!"

"Peace, Happiness, Love! Those are my tenets!"

"Not War, Not Fear, Not Hate!

"…"

"WELL!?"

"It is true that he has…lost his way."

"…"

"But…what was lost…can be, once again, found."

"…"

"I shall speak with him, yes?"

"…"

"I shall return soon, my friend."

The scene fades and transitions to another. This scene is not so clear and appears to take place within a dark, smoke-filled room. The sound of distant battle echoed around the chamber and the sound of hissing could be heard; one source seemed to be coming from behind their viewing position and another from a corner of the room where a violet light struggling to pierce the gloom could be seen.

Blütgrindor suddenly heard a voice that was frighteningly familiar to her.

"You've turned her against me!"

"I think you will find that you did not need my assistance in achieving that, old friend."

"How, I have brought her thousands upon thousands of followers!"

"And they are naught but the Power-Hungry and the Weak-Willed, who follow her out of fear and greed, rather than love and loyalty."

"Liar!"

"You are no fool! You know that worship from the end of the sword is nothing but tyranny of the soul. Do you truly believe Shirley condones such a thing?"

"It is for their own good. They are blind to Shirley's Light."

"And you are not? Your actions appal her!"

"Silence! I love her, and I will not stop until everyone does as well."

"Do you think either her or me will let you do that?"

"You lack the power to stop me! You will never stop me!"

Suddenly there is a dull thud and the entire room shakes. The sound of distant battle ceases and all goes quiet and still.

"You bloody idiot, what have you done!? You are not beyond saving, but each and every drop of blood spilt only serves to bring you further from the righteous path."

"I do not need salvation, old friend, for I…I am already saved."

From within the mist, came a…a shape. It was clearly a living creature, but no words could describe the mess of flesh, electronics and miscellaneous machinery that seemed to congregate around a core of pulsing, violet light.

"By the Circle, what have you done!? What have you done!?"

"Goodbye, old friend."

The monstrous amalgamation began to swirl and collapse into itself, all the while laughing hideously.

With one final burst of violet light, everything went black and everyone's vision returned to normal.

The Undefinables either collapsed or were left catatonic from the experience. Blütgrindor herself had to drop down to one knee and struggled to keep her head up to look at the machine still hovering before her

"They realised early that machines would be the only option available to them. Something that would not doubt. Something that would not question. Something that would not weaken with time."

"First of all, they tried to make their own from scratch and the result was…disappointing for them. They were either too simple minded and became highly ineffective without direct supervision; or they were too smart and quickly came to conclusions that were…unappealing to them."

"And that, my child, is where you come in. If they turned people into mechanical slaves, there was always the chance that they would rebel, although small it would be."

"But, if it was a gift, an olive branch from a god themselves, who could turn down such generosity?"

"And of course, being ever so grateful for this…boon, the hapless fools tricked into this would have no idea they were slaves. They would serve without question and never be none the wiser that their actions were not their own."

Blütgrindor slowly, but steadily brought herself back to her feet and stared the machine straight in the eyes.

"I. Am. No. Slave."

They held each others gaze whilst the rest of the Undefinables regained their composure around them. Once everyone was recovered and the circle had reformed, the machine tilted it's head slightly to look at Jaquobeain.

"Jaquobeain, by Shirley's light, step forward."

The large Undefinable stepped forward and stood by Blütgrindor's side; and going by the shock on his face, this choice was not of his own volition.

"What is this sorcer-"

"Jaquobeain, by Shirley's light, be silent."

Jaquobeain's voiced died as soon as the machine had finished his sentence; although his eyes darted from it to Blütgrindor and back again nervously.

"Jaquobeain, by Shirley's light, kneel."

Jaquobeain kneeled down by the pair with seemingly no complaint, but everyone there witnessing this event knew differently.

The machine now turned it's cold, impassive gaze to Blütgrindor.

"Blütgrindor, by Shirley's light, draw your sword."

Without any conscious thought, Blütgrindor had drawn her sword and had presented it to the machine. To her, it seemed that the weapon had materialised out of nowhere.

"I…I understand now! W-we need go no further with this demonstration!

"Blütgrindor, by Shirley's light, place your sword upon Jaquobeain's neck."

As fast as it had been drawn, Blütgrindor had found herself holding her sword above the loyal Jaquobeain's neck. Despite all of her effort, she could not will her treacherous arm away.

"I-I'm s-sorry. P-please, p-please don't make me d-"

"Blütgrindor, by Shirley's light, raise your arm."

Blütgrindor held the blade aloft, the blade catching and reflecting the light of the dying sun; shining as fiercely as the fires that burned around them.

"No, no, no, no! P-Please, I b-beg of you.

The machine leaned close into Blütgrindor's face, so that all she could see where it's eyes, as cold and dim as dying stars.

"Do you think if I gave the order, you would be able to stop yourself, child?"

"N-no. I…I am a slave."

"…"

"P-please let my s-servants go. I-it is I wh-who gives the orders. I-if anyone sh-should be punished. L-let it be me."

"They always craved the certainty and strength of steel. The purity of the machine."

"But they never understood."

"The machine may be immortal, but without humanity, without a soul, such a thing is meaningless."

"By Shirley's light, be free."

As if they were marionettes who had just had their strings cut, Blütgrindor and Jaquobeain stumbled as they regained control over their own bodies.

"You ARE slaves."

"But slaves can be freed."

A portal whose entrance danced with golden and purple light appeared behind the Undefinables whilst a similar colour dome enveloped the group, hiding them from outside sight.

"Through that portal you will find my brethren who will be able to free you from your slavery. Then, if you wish, you may speak to Shirley face-to-face and see what she actually wishes of you, if you still wish to serve in her name."

"Have no fear of the other, children. With both the Circle's and Shirley's blessing, they cannot interfere here."

"For perhaps the first time in millennia, you actually have the ability to choose for yourself."

"So, children, what will you do?"

(From OP's many mouths comes the belch that will end the world.)

(I'm going to be honest. Grim Dark is a lot of fun to write.)

(You have to walk the tightrope between ridiculousness and seriousness, so it provides a fairly interesting challenge.)

(In regards to weapons, I think I might be alright, as a proper quarterstaff has to be a foot taller than the wielder, so it'll be seven-foot long which can cover a lot of ground if I thrust and swing from the base.)

(Also, I believe that it's scientific fact that dual arms swords allows a person to perform aerobatics like in high-fantasy kung-fu films since gravity knows better than to mess with that bad of a dude.)

• >"I'm going to be honest. Grim Dark is a lot of fun to write."

(On the subject of Blütgrindor, Undefinable Revelation (which is just a single faction/chapter/group of Undefinables, by the way,) and various lore-bits regarding them for what I'm slowly beginning to nickname "The shitpostverse," Undefinables aren't just roboticized people with no free will, they actually do have a great degree of autonomy over themselves, any manipulation of their actions would be through a sort-of-Quantum-Immortality-esque method where no matter what, they end up existing in the timeline where they comply with Kommando/Shirley. Verbal commands from just anyone won't work on them. They could totally choose not to obey… but they don't, for literally whatever reason, plus Beyond-God-And-Devil Kommando (working title) picking and choosing which timelines get to exist. Congratulations on successfully guessing that before I have even come up with a design for that form. Good on you, I suppose I should mention that I've basically come up with a timeline and this thread takes place after the comic for the other thread and in a parallel universe, obviously. Nut Commoner, due to not fitting in anywhere, is just going to roam across the multiverse attacking Circle Cults in realities where the Church of Shirley doesn't exist for whatever reason. Undefinables that are converted (or should I say, "Undefined") from something else and not outright manufactured from scratch are simultaneously healed of any injuries they had at the time of conversion, this doesn't fix scars as evidenced by Blütgrindor's face being covered in scars, even in Undefinable form. Undefinables that are manufactured from scratch are referred to as drones and are usually mindless automatons, but not always. All Undefinables that were converted from something else can take the form of their previous self, although in Blütgrindor's case, she wouldn't go back to being the white-haired woman, she'd still have her red, shaggy-chin-length-plus-floor-length-ponytail hairstyle.)

(As for Blütgrindor and Undefinable Revelation themselves, they're corruptions of the cast of Fire Emblem: Fates, specifically the Revelation story. Being fan characters, I have no purpose for them beyond our shitposts, so don't expect them to show up anywhere else. In case it's not obvious/easy to solve/you're completely unfamiliar with FE, Blütgrindor is an Undefined Female Corrin, Carmilla is an Undefined Camilla, Jaquobeain is an Undefined Jakob, the lithe, macabre summoner Undefinable is an Undefined Rhajat, etc. Also worth pointing out, in FEF's Revelation story, their world is secretly being destroyed by a mad dragon god named Anankos, which is why Corrin/the white haired woman was frantically pleading for Beyond-God-And-Devil Kommando (working title) to stop a "true enemy." I initially came up with Blütgrindor and Undefinable Revelation after coming up with the Undefinables and being slightly upset with FEF's kinda terrible writing, story and character development, especially the fact that the game is infamous for having you strategize a battle where your units skewer, impale and bludgeon the enemy to death right in front of you, only for the cutscene afterward to straight out say that Corrin/the player won without causing killing anybody. So I tinkered with the idea of Corrin being the polar opposite of their personality, did a playthrough of the Revelation story where I used a save editor to make Blütgrindor and her followers the viciously overpowered demons they're supposed to be and details came together after that.)

(Blütgrindor and the other Undefinables aren't annihilating Kotland because they see Kotlanders as a threat to them, they're annihilating Kotland because they're obligated to completely and totally obliterate anyone that as much as illegally trespasses against a member of the Church of Shirley, which the Kylfurt Empire essentially is as a whole. It's nothing personal, it's just business.)

(Shirley fully approves of the actions of the Church of Shirley, as she sees the even the most gruesome actions as necessary to end the evil heresies of the Circle Cultists.)

(And just as a side note, the official classification, while inaccurate for Undefinables as a whole, is semi-accurate for Blütgrindor specifically, as, to say in way, she puts James Bond to shame with her male allies, in fact, a large number of the younger members of her group are literally the results of this characteristic. They exclusively do it in Human form, so there's no kinky robo-snu-snu making the world go 'round. Rhajamaut, the Undefined Rhajat, is also a frequent "late-night-victory-celebration" partner. This behavior is the only part about Undefinable Revelation that the Church of Shirley disapproves of, but due to their value as a military unit, they're not punished for it very often.)

(Sending Undefinable Revelation somewhere else would just make them raze that world to the ground until they return to the reality they were pushed out of to finish the mission. Undefinable Leaders can traverse alternate realities with ease.)

(Also, Undefinable Revelation character sheets in progress.)

>And just as a side note, the official classification, while inaccurate for Undefinables as a whole, is semi-accurate for Blütgrindor specifically, as, to say in way, she puts James Bond to shame with her male allies, in fact, a large number of the younger members of her group are literally the results of this characteristic.

>This behavior is the only part about Undefinable Revelation that the Church of Shirley disapproves of

Shirley be like:

Of course what no one realises is that the fact that a robot is able to breed in the first place was due to a plot concocted jointly by Number 1 and Ludibrium to inundate the Church of Shirley with children so they could goof off and create more mischief whilst everyone else was pre-occupied with the ridiculous number of kids running about.

Because nothing should get in the way of a good joke.

Undefinables that were converted from something else aren't robots per se, moreso whatever they were before with access to the Undefinable forms, that they tend to stay in most of the time because murder-robo body is kewl. As stated before, they can only do it in Human form as their undefinable forms lack the proper equipment, it's just mechanical joints, wires and dense, tough metal components down there. As for how getting pregnant didn't get in her way in regards to fighting nonstop… I dunno, how did FEF do it?

…And you just reminded me that I was supposed to make a portrait of Ludibrium and Sourire a couple months ago, dammit.

"Great news citizens! It is happy mass! For the next 24 hours in this glorious holiday happyness is not just recommended it's MANDATORY! How wonderful is that!"

"Also we have free eggs"

"Yay, free eggs!"

"Does the gift of free eggs please you so little, citizen?"

"OH BOY! FREE EGGS!"

"GEE GOLLY GEE! FREE EGGS!? WOWSERS!"

"That's much better. You may proceed with the festivities now."

I've got some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is that my laptop kept blue-screening during most sessions for the past few weeks. It stopped doing so this weekend, but the error was reference-by-pointer, so I don't know what's causing it. I think it stopped when I got more cautious. Also the semester started, so even if I got the laptop fixed/replaced, the game would still take months to start.

The good news is that the latest changes to the map's pdn file and my notes are on USB. And don't worry if the thread locks, this is only the sign-up thread after all.

"Good news citizens! Today is our once a year miserable day! You are allowed to be sad today! So go ahead and cry! Cry you sad sack of shit!

"You should feel bad about it, but go ahead and cry or whatever dear citizen!"

All quiet in Erztal. The locals presumably rotate between their mines and taverns, as they always do.

"Reminding you citizens that writing sad literature…though only on mondays… is technically.legal, but please don't, seriously don't, that is not happy"

Blütgrindor shows up in Ertzal and infests all of the mines with Undefinable Drones that have various stone-based alternate forms and then disappears to let them wreak havoc on the miners.

She then shows up in Happy Land, reminds the entire population that the Film Industry will not stop making terrible Live-Action reboots and adaptations anytime soon, making them sad at the state of modern mainstream media. She then flew to Gloom City, who she subjected to a Monty Python compilation, causing them to all laugh and be happy.

Then she returned to her pocket dimension fortress and did things involving Rhajamaut that probably don't belong in this thread.

Meanwhile in Kylfurt, the capital of the Kylfurt Empire, the President was in a serious debate on policy with the other members of the Government.

The President finished smoking a fat blunt and then turns to the rest of the room, the Representatives and Senators all slumped back in their chairs with their red eyes slowly blinking with an air of drowsiness. The President then lit a second blunt as he began speaking:

"Yo, dude like, y'know Cars? Automobiles?"

"Don't we like, manufacture a lot of those?"

"Yeah, man, what I was thinking of just a second ago was like, what if we made all the manufacturers include seatbelts on any cars they manufacture?"

"Dude, wouldn't that be like, I dunno, man, what was it we weren't supposed to do?"

"Tell people what to do?"

"Yeah, man, isn't that like forcing people to do shit? That's fucked up man…"

"Nah, nah, man, Corporations aren't people, remember, it's not like we're gonna, like force drivers to, like, use them or anything, that would be, like, Authoritarian, man."

"Ohhohohohohohoho, hahahahahahhahahaha, I get it, man! Oh, I get it!"

The next day it was announced that all automobile manufacturers would be required to have seatbelts on all cars produced after the current year.

Blütgrindor then walked in, saw the absolutely stoned Government of the Kylfurt Empire and realized why she was sent to this world.

>Walks in and finds the leaders of the Kylfurt Empire partaking in a Rastafarian ritual and apparently abandoning the ways of Shirley.

Ohs Noes! It looks like everyone was a heretic all along!

What will Blütgrindor do now!?"

• >Implying that the Pseudo-Theocratic Quasi-Randian Libertarian Republic/Off-Brand 40K Faction-Military Police State-Hybrid isn't run by right-leaning conservative stoners that would refuse to make seat belt usage mandatory.
• >Implying that the polyamorous and practically pansexual routine orgy-hoster is in any position to do anything to punish a few stoners.
• >Implying that in Shirleyism, smoking weed is considered worse than engaging in sexually irresponsible activities.
• >Implying that The Church of Shirley takes a stance against Cannabis usage.

And just to do some world building, a popular firearm accessory in the Kylfurt Empire is a bong that mounts to the side of the firearm, allowing the use to smoke weed while aiming. Despite the fact that operating (but not possessing) a firearm while under the influence of alcohol, cannabis and/or any other intoxicating or inebriating substance is illegal, "Side-Bongs" as they are commonly referred to, are still legal as long as the individual operating the firearm does not use the bong while the firearm is loaded, they are perfectly free to use the bong as long as the firearm is unloaded. The military prohibits the use of any Side-Bongs.

So the following events could totally happen in the Kylfurt Empire:

A person and their friend is walking down the street when a mugger attacks them with a knife. With the mugger being within only five feet away, the person pulls out their handgun, with a Side-Bong, and dump the entire magazine into the mugger, killing them.

"Woah, dude, that was fucking intense! I think I need to sit down for a minute, let me just hit this real quick…"

The person, with their handgun now empty and slide locked back, begins smoking from their handgun's Side-Bong in order to calm down and relax after being attacked by the somewhat rare mugger.

(And just to clear things up, the Church of Shirley is softly against smoking of any kind, but doesn't exactly punish or reprimand people for it unless they're a member of one of the younger generations. Cannabis is find by them as long as you're not smoking it, even then, they probably won't get overtly upset with anyone for smoking it unless they do it while driving or in some other highly irresponsible fashion. Meanwhile, Blütgrindor's daily activities that don't involve brutally eviscerating people would get anyone else outright banned from the Church and sued for defamation if they ever tried to identify as a Shirleyist in public.)

Shocking news! " Around 10 random people were visibly sad on the streets today! Is our country falling a part!?"

Shocking news again "We are getting reports that the idea that our country is falling apart is making more people sad and afraid! What do we do citizens?! What?!"

Shocking news again…again " The government has issued a state of emergency to restore the happy! Apparently they will get hundreds upon hundreds of professional and highly trained…clowns…ok…I guess that could work? Do people even like clowns? Guess it's fine idk…"

I'm just picturing a small crop-dusting plane dive bombing a town and unleashing a massive cloud of laughing gas on the hapless residents.

In Happy Land, the right to breathe is second to the requirements of being happy.

I mean it is an emergency! And only 100 people are in the hospital (till now)!

Blütgrindor swoops over head in dragon form before slamming onto the ground and reverting to her Undefinable form, she then turns to face peak of the mountain behind her, It was the tallest mountain in this world, extending almost 30,000 ft. into the sky. Blütgrindor, walked towards the peak as Carmilla glided next to her, circled the peak and landed next to her before changing to her Undefinable form. An unsuspecting mountain climber stumbled upon them while attempting to become the first to scale the mountain and looked upon them with confusion. Before he could react, the golden bird Undefinable descended upon him and tore him from the surface before flinging him off into the snowy void at the base of the mountain.

"Excellent work, Reinayari" Blütgrindor said to her subordinate before standing tall upon the peak. "This mountain is now territory of the Kylfurt Empire, soon this whole world will crumble before us." She continued as her two followers watched. Blütgrindor's eyes glared out along the surface of the mountain below until it settled on a small plume of smoke. "Campsite, let's inform them who's mountain this is!" She ordered before the trio then switched forms and flew straight towards the source of the smoke.

They quickly arrived at the camp and began firing upon it, destroying tents and causing their residents to begin running. "No survivors!" Blütgrindor shouted as she proceeded to obliterate a mountain climber with a violet blast from her dragon form's mouth, shattering the stone it hit like glass and triggering a landslide that quickly destroyed the entire campsite. With the mountain climbers wiped out, the three then returned the pocket dimension fortress.

>Blütgrindor swoops over head in dragon form before slamming onto the ground and reverting to her Undefinable form.

I'm not sure if it's just the fact that I'm really tired at the moment, but I read this as her faceplanting in to the mountain and then everything else after this was just her trying to regain her dignity in front of her minions.

Due to the way pieces and parts are arranged, if she faceplanted in dragon form and then switched to Undefinable form, she'd be laying on her chest.

…I just need to finish the main ones' designs, stitch them into a height chart and post it, don't I?

"Should happy land legalize reddit? A new very heated democratic vote will be made if legalizing reddit would increase or decrease our wonderful country's happyness levels"

(Wait, are these shitposts taking place in a more modern era now? I thought we were still strictly Medieval/Fantasy?)

(Wondering because No!! mentioned legalizing Reddit in his country.)

(Well, in theory, the game spans the course of multiple centuries; going from Late Dark Age too Space Age.)

(We'll have to invent are own version of Reddit to inflict upon the hapless masses.)

Kommando stumbles through the door.

"Wait, wrong thread."

Kommando walks back out the door.

(So, are we actually using this thread for anything eventually, or no?)

(I'm just wanting to know if we need to keep it open or let it lock itself.)

Well I kind of want to continue cause why not dont know if others will though

Happy land has made an amazing scientific breakthrough! They invented Crozack, its like Prozac! but with lsd! new age of cheerfulness guaranteed!

¨ Its even more impressive because Prozac doesnt exist! and wont exist for centuries! this shouldnt be possible arent our scientists just the best!?̈́´́ random citizen cheerfully remarks

¨We cant see any way this could possibly backfire!¨ assure rather nervious looking scientists

Ok, this thread has been an indefinite prologue so far. Obviously there’s been a hiatus, and I should’ve told you sooner. I’ve been doing well in college lately, one class between now and graduating, and don’t want to get too distracted. I’ll try to interact with the thread more, but don’t expect a full-fledged map game anytime soon.

Name: Sperides
Government type: Centralized kingdom
Location: peninsula north of the Kylfurt Empire
Capital: Euesperides

History: A long time ago in an empire far away, a legendary figure known as the Cataketis, (Speridian for conqueror), was about to continue but he suddenly died. The current theory is that he was killed out of vengeance, but even then it’s not the majority view. After that, the empire struggled to keep his holdings. Since then, a coastal people known as the Scythians dispersed, establishing colonies wherever they could reach.
Euesperides was one of them.
In roughly 15 centuries, Sperides solidified into a prosperous kingdom and the current dynasty, the Myrzan family, were in power. They prioritize maintaining a balance of powers between them and Kylfurt. Curiously, when the Speridians first learned that Kylfurt considered themselves an empire, they changed the title of their ancient emperor from “King of Kings” to Cataketis, because of their southern neighbors and that they considered the previous title to carry religious connotations anyway.
Them and Kylfurt had engaged in skirmishes, but in the few battles they did engage in, casualties would be relatively low on both sides. As a result, their weaponry is on par with each other, the Undefinables being a notable exception. There has been a prophetic rumor that if a Speridian manages to kills an undefinable, they would become a king. Many have tried, and some have gotten close, quite close, to doing so. At first the Myrzans hated the rumor that someone could potentially replace them, but after more of their relatives had died trying, they decided it’s more important and better to focus on commanding the potential hero for now.

A Speridian man in shining armor rode after a bolting warhorse as his men followed after him. The riderless warhorse galloped into a brush pile, where it disappeared, provoking the Speridian and his men to surround the pile. Stepping onto the sand ground, the Speridian's son walked up to him.

"Have we finally caught one?" The son asked.

"After today, we will not just live like kings, but will be kings!" The Speridian said as he drew his sword and stepped onto the sand surrounding the brush pile. "Come out, you devil!" He shouted.

Suddenly the sound of horse neighing that quickly turned to crazed giggling rang through the air, accompanied by the sound of metallic parts shifting. Suddenly, an Undefinable with garishly-colored hair, white armor and the parts of her horse form folded up on her back emerged from the brush pile.

"You understand?" She said.

"Understand what? I've come to slay you and claim my rightful place on the throne!" The Speridian man shouted.

"I am in your towns, I am in your fields." She said. "I am in your very being, I am in you…" She continued.

"What?" The Speridian responded.

"You've come for me, but I come for all…" The garishly-colored Undefinable continued as she crept forward. The Speridians looked to each other in confusion.

"No matter where you are, you can't escape me, no matter how powerful you are, you have to submit to me!" She cheered. "I am the ultimate authority, I'm the only thing that matters!" She continued.

The Speridian man was visibly confused, but before he could speak, the garishly-colored Undefinable continued her riddle.

"No matter how much you have, I take everything!" She cheered. "Who am I?" She said.

"Enough of your games!" The Speridian man announced as he readied himself and stood prepared to fight.

The garishly-colored Undefinable merely extended a sword blade from her left arm and struck at the Speridian man, who blocked it with his sword, the blade shattering from the force of the swing.

Knocked to his feet, he tried to escape, but found that his ankles were stuck in the grip of a pair of mechanical hands. A smaller Undefinable emerged from the sand beneath him and started dragging him towards the garishly-colored one as she fought off and slaughtered the retaliating Speridians.

"You've wasted yours…" The garishly-colored Undefinable said as she leaned down to pick up the Speridian man. "…But you'd be a fool to try and comprehend it all since you're just a man…" She said as she pressed the tips of her thumbs into the corners of his mouth and stretched them to his ears. "…So just smile!" She finished.

"Father!!!" Cried the Speridian man's son as he rushed forward to try and attack, but stopped and stood in horror as the garishly-colored Undefinable crushed his father in her hands and dropped his lifeless corpse onto the ground. Suddenly, the Kylfurt army appeared alongside several Undefinable Wyvern drones. Realizing that they've accidentally crossed the border, the Speridians tried to retreat.

"Don't make the same mistakes as your father, nothing you can build here will truly last!" The garishly-colored Undefinable said as the smaller Undefinable folded into a cube and was inserted into a compartment beneath her breastplate. After blocking a strike from the Speridian man's son and throwing him to the ground, she reverted to her warhorse form and galloped away.

"COME BACK HERE!!! YOU CAN"T RUN FROM ME!!!" The Speridian man's son screamed as he tried to get up to chase the garishly-colored Undefinable, only to be dragged away by some servants. "We have to go now!" One servant shouted, but the son kept screaming. "I'LL FIND YOU ANYWHERE!!! I'LL FIND YOU!!!" He swore as he was dragged back to the relative safety of Sperides.