Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

So I have spent the last three days creating a religion; as you do.

I have now come to spread news of mine holey master to the masses and save your souls from the vile pawns of Pythagoras before it is too late.

B-but… How do i join? How big in size is the circle? what's in for me? I have so many questions, both legitimate and joke based.

How do I join?

By asking nicely.

Rudeness is a sign that you are Dodecaheathenist and will get you promptly shot.

How big is the circle

Our Holey Lord is large enough to embrace all of its children within its warm circumference.

What's in it for me?

Camaraderie, good memes, a complementary drink at the bar of your choice and not burning in the fires of damnation for all eternity.

Can you please count me in?

Welcome aboard Acolyte Quiet!

How's your Latin chanting?

Not bad i think. Maybe i could be a chorus boy but i would need to learn how to turn a bed sheet into a robe.

That's fine, the Choir's every other Monday, so you should have plenty of time to sort yourself out.

No, what I need you to do in the meantime is take this blessed bonking bat…

…and wander the streets chanting "Pie Iesu Domine, dona eis requiem" and bonking anything that looks too angular for it's own good.

Circulus Vult Licisci.

Gotcha. Also make sure to get a nice place to locate the church and an organ in working condition, i'll need some practice but my mother always said i had long fingers and good enough hands to be a pianist or massagist or something.

>no hymns
It's dangerous to go alone, take these!

Yon wheels on thy bus goes round and round
Round and round
Round and round

Yon wheels on thy bus goes round and round
Round and round
Round and round

And they shall set the sinners free

that's all?

Please, allow me to put my grain of sand to this sand castle

A cult? On my meme site?!
Well let's see what the FBI has to say about thi-
*gets shot in the head

Does the circle recognize rare females and the holy Fobos Grunt?

If circles are so great why don't they fit together evenly

This post was made by Tessellating Shapes Gang

*Me, a wandering spirit cursed to a life in purgatory:
Oh no, you disrespected them! They'll shoot you too!

Don't worry. We a our methods for this kind of fucking squares

Females are by their very nature round, and so the Holey One recognises all females that open up their hearts unto the Lord.

In regards to Fobos-Grunt, the CoC believe that it is an excellent example of how one must represent the Undeserving Circle both within and without.

Although it was pleasingly smooth and curved on the outside, the designers filled the inside with an atrocity of angles that led to the Lord to forbid it from entering the Holey One's domain.

Hopefully the Godless Heathens have learned their lesson and the next launch will be much more successful.

Brother, now that you are here, can i ask what's the Holey One's view on Axel from Twisted Metal?

Dost thou mean Saint Axel the Martyr, who became one with the Holy Tyres of Divine Retribution in order to rid the world of sin?

If this is so, then yes Brother Boi, the Undeserving Circle doth smile approvingly upon him.

Ye sorrowful spirit must be mistaken.

It must have been the work of Dodecaheathenists, for a True Child of the Circle would never do anything as uncivilised as shoot a non-believer for their idiotic fallacies.

No, a member of the CoC would force feed you with scones with neither cream nor jam whilst strapped into the Comfy Chair until you had repented for your misdeeds.

Ah. The Comfy Chair, a rough torture method, but never one that's used without a reason.

Heretics! All of you!

When will you realize that all shapes are weak on their own and only when combined do they achieve divine accomplishments such as the Human form!

Only because you have a point dosen't mean that you are completely right… Please don't tell me this is gonna be the start of another meme war between you and King. The damage from the last one still gives me nightmares.

If said to be the case, I demand cosmic retribution for this injustice. Go out on your war on the Dodecaheathenists if you feel you must, but I have yet to truely understand their motivations for my murder. It would seem at a mere glance that calling the FBI against you would've served to their benefit, after all.

What if. You were shot by an ATF agent impersonating an FBI agent and is doing this to shift the blame to the FBI because the ATF hates cults and anybody who deals with them?

Thoust call'st me a Heretic!?

Then point to thine own form and showst me a singular angle or but the smallest of rigid straight lines, thy Pawn of Pythagoras!

Fear ye not, thou wrathful wraith.

Our war against the Dodecaheathenists is as old as good vs evil, light vs dark, cat vs dog, picnickers vs British weather.

No matter where they hide, we shalt find them and bring them to the respective authorities so that proper justice will be mete out.

After a severe kicking, of course.

Bad news folks. I got shot by a dude who called himself a "Son of the Rectangle"… I will need something more dangerous than a holey bat next time. What do you recommend? I was thinking on a Cho Ku Nu:

A viable weapon, but may not serve so effectively in close combat. Here, take from my ghostly hands this weapon as an aid straight from the realm of purgatory:

The Hello Kitty markings means it's been blessed by the Sanrio company itself, so you know you'll be safer next time around thanks to it's wholesome energy.

I should probably point out that despite its appearance, it doesn't work like a conventional gun. Exactly how it works will reveal to you when the time comes. Keep faith in it, lad.

Attention, Circle Heretics! Your days of lies and discrimination are numbered!

The divinity of Shirley has been revealed! All those who you disparage over their shape will join us in prayer and praise to Shirley!

Repent and join, or face your deserved end!

Ok, on one hand i want to be tolerant because i don't want to come off as a bigot and i consider that
you may have a point…… On the other hand however.

DID I HEARD SOMEBODY SPREADING HERESY ON THIS POST!?

The divine scriptures also approve the use of such a weapon.

The circular holes it leaves in our foes also deals holy damage, by branding the fiends with the blessed sign of the Holey One.

As such, any demonic protection that are feeble foes cast upon themselves shall be effortlessly breached by such a holy relic.

Well… I guess that if the Holey One is ok with her then, i retire my previous statement and i apologize for it. For now i will keep this wholesome girl in a place where i can pray to her every night before going to sleep, right after i pray to the Undeserving Circle.

Heretics! Have you no respect for our sacred texts: Shirley's Truth?

"Thou shalt not deface Shirley's image, for she is perfect as is." -Shirley's Truth, 2:11

"Thou shalt not brand Shirley with the markings of other, false deities. To do so would be a heinous mockery and the most extreme blasphemy." -Shirley's Truth, 2:14

"Doth thou need a blonde bearing twintails? Then consult Kitty Hawk, equal in standing to Shirley in sancitity." -Shirley's Truth, 11:198

Not to mention how you took offense and suspicion at her nose and skin tone, art thou Heretics not only Shapeist, but Racist as well? I cannot think of another explanation for responding in such a manner to a person's ethnic features. That is highly un-Shirleyesque and essentially anathema and as The Grand Dalai-Imam-Archpope-General-Cheif-Minister Of The Church Of Shirley I must denounce such behaviors and kindly request all of our followers to pray for your souls.

I wish i was smart enough to make a Memri TV meme out of you…

As the Good Scrolls say:

"Check thyself before thou doth wreck thyself."

Thou doth claim that pointing out the signs of possible demonic possession is heresy and intolerable in modern theological circles, and yet does not thou's own holy scriptures encourage the discrimination and persecution of all other waifus?

Indeed, is it not one of your major tenets to have artists spread the good word of Shirley by using her in their own works?

Doth thou truly expect an artist to just shoehorn a character into their works without adapting them to their own piece?

If Shirley is as holy as you claim her to be, then surely such a minor thing as changing her apparel or hair colour would not have any effect upon her divinity?

And as one last point, thous shouldst know that Kitty cannot be reached before the hours of 1pm and does not do children's parties; making her much less useful for day to day religious purposes than Shirley

This why I am a Mufti and you are but an Imam.

(Sassy finger snapping)

Memri memes are fairly easy to make, as you just photoshop the person into the Memri TV studio and add whatever subtitles you want.

As long as the Memri TV logo is up there, you should be ok.

The democratic club one would probably be a good base for the debate me and Kaijin are currently having if you wanted to give it a go.

As we say here down south of the U.S. : What is promised it's always a debt… And i hate debts.

This is great.

You need to have more faith in your own abilities, young man.

Our scriptures do not assert that all waifus other than Shirley should be discriminated against, but instead that Shirley is the primordial template that all Waifus are derived and descended from.

And if an artist cannot draw a character without radically changing their appearance to the point that they are nearly unrecognizable, they should reconsider their abilities as an artist. I also did not specify that they insert Shirley into their stories and grander works, merely that they should create depictions of her as a method of celebrating her perfection and beauty while also spreading her good truth to the unenlightened masses.

And while changing clothes is perfectly acceptable within certain limitations, the problem with your defacement of her was that in doing so, you deliberately branded her with the emblem of a perverted and bigoted cult!

And as to my position, I am not an Imam, I am The Grand Dalai-Imam-Archpope-General-Cheif-Minister Of The Church Of Shirley! Only the highest position a practitioner of her kindness and gentleness in all of Shirleydom can attain!

This is you lol.

(I honestly think you should post that to the gallery for the sole purpose of confusing the shit out of people who know nothing about what's going on here. Properly tagged of course.)

(Also I'm more of a "Hugging her shoulders and crying tears of joy"-type than a "Groveling at her feet"-type.)

behold
a tune that will make anybody who listens to it at more than 14 seconds in fucking die

Bro, if it is Undertale / Deltarune music i swear.
.

.
[About four minutes later]
.
Ok, i'll let it pass this time, but only because i need to see a cardiologist after such speed and i don't have time to say that you should have posted that in the KYM plays Undertale forum post.

A purposely incomplete circle, broken of it's seal? What could this mean?

Dodecaheathenists have gotten smarter by the day… I don't even know how to reach to this. It's too confusing.